A Series of Birthdays
by Llama Queen Katie
Summary: Basically what it says! This will be a gianormous fanfic with each chapter being its own fic, all centered around a specific character's birthday. Each chapter will also be posted on the birthday of whichever character it's about. Better summary inside.
1. Prologue

**Hello, everybody! I got this idea sometime last year, when I started looking at the birthdays for the Naruto characters. I guess that I must have gotten the idea in September or October, because Naruto's b-day fic was the first one I wrote, and his b-day is October 10th. Anyway, I wrote the fic and had it ready on the 10th, but then the site was down for some stupid reason and wouldn't even let me access my log in page. So I figured, "Ah well, I'll leave it for next year." Then I thought, "Hey, if I'm already leaving this one for next year, why not start ALL the b-day fics next year? Then I can put it as one giant fanfic, and it will be made of epic win! Yay me!" So now here I am, and here you are.**

**Just as a quick little note as far as pairings for the fics go: In general, I will involve my favourite pairings at least somewhat in each fic, depending on who it's centered around and whether he/she would interact with each of those pairings. For example, though I love SasuNaru with all my heart, I sincerely doubt it'll play a part in Temari's birthday fic when I write it. So I'm including a list of all the pairings that I usually like to support/write about, and if I decide to break from any of those pairings for a chapter, I'll say something at the beginning: SasuNaru, KakaIru, ShikaTem, JiraiyaTsunade, KibaHina, InoSaku, MinatoKushina (duh), ItaDei, and that's about it for pairings I can see myself writing. There will definitely be some floating around with those, and not every fic will involve a pairing at all. I won't put a pairing list before each fanfic, and I won't say anything if the fic either doesn't involve any pairings, or only involves one or two. The ONLY time I will put anything about pairings (after now) is if the pairing I've chosen to feature is different from one of the ones on this list.**

**One more quick note on how much/how little Japanese I use in my fics; nearly all the Japanese I know has come from reading or watching Naruto related things, so I don't generally use much. All I really use are the names for the villages, some honorifics, and various other terms, such as "bijuu", "Jinchuuriki", as well as the names of all the bijuu (for example, it'll be "Kyuubi" instead of "Nine Tail" or anything like that). There may be other random Japanese terms I'll throw into a fic, but these are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head. The only people names I don't use the Japanese name for are things that only Naruto calls people, so Tsunade will be Grandma Tsunade when Naruto's talking to or about her, and Jiraiya will always be the Pervy Sage, just because I like those terms better. They make me giggle. XP And Shikamaru's catchphrase will always be the English dubbed version of "such a drag" because, again, it makes me giggle. Names will always use the Japanese style of having the last name first (ie "Uzumaki Naruto" instead of "Naruto Uzumaki") with the exceptions of Lee and Gai. They will, sort of, remain as they are in the English version ("Rock Lee" and "Maito Gai") simply because I'm pretty sure that's the way it's actually said for the Japanese version.**

**Okay, I think that's about it. I'm finally done blathering on and on. I think I'll have to make this a prologue chapter, just because it's so damn long. Oops. XP Ah well, it means I can post this now instead of waiting til January 19th, the first birthday on my list. Yes, that means you all just have to wait until then to get the first chapter. XP Sorry, all! Though I suppose it makes sense to have this as its own chapter, seeing as it gives all the info required for the fanfic, so yeah. I'll just shut up and post this thingy now. Lol.**


	2. Gaara

**So here we are, the first fanfic! This fic is dedicated to my beloved Gaara, who just so happens to be one of my favourite characters out of this glorious anime. XP Gaara's birthday is the same day as I've posted this fic, January 19th, so here is his tribute chapter. It takes place during Shippuden, sometime after the whole "oh, we found Sasuke again!" arc, but probably sometime in between arcs, when there's relative peace around the important parts of the world. This is also going to be one of the few fanfics where NaruGaa is the main focus. XP Now, without further ado, I present:**

**A Series of Birthdays**

**Chapter 1**

**Gaara**

"So when's your birthday?" Naruto asked Gaara as the two of them sat in Gaara's room. Naruto was visiting in Sunagakure, partly because he wanted to see his friend, but also largely to do with the fact that Tsunade was getting tired of hearing people complain about Naruto, and so she sent him away for a while.

"Why do you want to know?" Gaara asked Naruto in reply, staring at the blonde.

"You can't answer a question with another question," Naruto argued. "Why don't you want to tell me when your birthday is?"

"You just answered my question with a question," Gaara pointed out. "Fine. If you must know, it's January 19th. Now tell me why you asked."

Naruto grinned. "That's coming up pretty quickly," he commented. "Got any plans to celebrate?"

Gaara looked startled. "Well...no, not exactly," he admitted. "I've actually never celebrated my birthday. Until recently, nobody cared about me enough to do anything, and I didn't care about any of them, either. And now, it's just become so much of a tradition to not do anything that I don't think anyone's thought of it."

Naruto frowned. "That's no good," he said, "I mean everyone's gotta have some sort of celebration on their birthday. Even I've had something special mostly every year. I mean, even when I was away from Konoha with the Pervy Sage, he always made sure to do something in recognition of the day." 

"You forget, Naruto, that I've been alone much longer than you. It may seem odd to someone like you that I'm perfectly alright with not celebrating my birthday, but that's how it is."

The blonde grinned again. "Well, I'm not taking no for an answer. I'm going to make absolute sure you have a celebration this year, and every year from now on. In fact, I think I'm going to start planning right now! I'll see you later, kay?" With that, Naruto left. Gaara sighed, watching his friend go.

It was no secret that Gaara had feelings for Naruto, both his siblings knew this. He'd had these feelings ever since Naruto had helped in Gaara's rescue from the Akatsuki, and therefore his revival. In fact, the only thing stopping Gaara from acting on these feelings was Naruto himself. The blonde was just so oblivious to everything around him, and Gaara knew how much Naruto cared for Sasuke. _He probably __wouldn't even want to be with me,_ the redhead thought to himself. _All he can think about is Sasuke, even after they found him and lost him again. Naruto wouldn't stop talking about it for over a month...yes, I'm sure of it. He'd never choose me, not while Uchiha Sasuke is still out there. Maybe Kankurou is right...maybe I should just give up._ Gaara sighed again and shook his head, then started on some important paperwork. _What I decide doesn't matter now. It's all up to him._

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Hey Kankurou! Temari!"

The two shinobi looked over to see Naruto running towards them, waving. "Oh, hey Naruto," Kankurou said with a grin. "What's up?"

"I need your guys' help," the blonde boy said once he'd reached them.

"What kind of help?" Temari asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well, I want to throw Gaara a birthday party this year, but I'm not entirely sure what to do. I figured you guys probably know what he likes better than I do, so I'm sure you could help me out." Naruto grinned.

Temari and Kankurou looked at each other briefly before looking back at Naruto. "Actually," Kankurou said, "you know him the best out of anybody. He may have started opening up more to us since he met you, but even so..."

"Talking about his feelings and his likes doesn't exactly come easy to him," Temari supplied.

Naruto frowned. "So you won't help me?"

"We never said that, did we?" Temari asked, smiling. "We'll help, we just may not be quite the help you're expecting."

Naruto grinned again. "Awesome! Let's get started on planning!"

"Well, we need balloons, that's for sure," Kankurou said.

"And streamers, and cake, and ice cream, and games..."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

About a week later, it was finally January 19th, Gaara's birthday. He sat in his office, doing pile after pile of paperwork. He sighed deeply. "Who would've thought that being Kazekage would get so tedious after a while?" he said to himself. There was a knock at his door. "Come in," he called out. The door opened and Temari walked in the room.

"Gaara, there's something you've got to come see," she said urgently. Gaara stood up.

"Show me," he said simply. Temari led her brother out of the Kazekage building and into the warm night air, down a couple streets, and then finally to one of the squares in Suna. Gaara blinked in surprise when they got there, looking all around at the multitude of streamers and balloons, all different colours, and the huge sign attached to the two farthest away buildings in the square that said "Happy Birthday, Gaara". But what he stared at most of all was the huge swarm of people standing there. He only recognized a few at first glance, like Kankurou, Baki, Matsuri, and of course, Naruto standing right in the middle of it all with a huge grin on his face.

"I toldja I'd make sure you had a celebration this year," the blonde Jinchuuriki said as Gaara made his way over to him, still looking around at all the people.

"Is the whole village here?" Gaara asked after a while, his eyes much wider than most people had ever seen them.

"Pretty much," Naruto replied. "I think there were a couple people who said they had something else to do, but for the most part, as soon as I told them it was a birthday party for you, they couldn't get here fast enough. They all love you, Gaara."

Kankurou clapped his hands together once. "Alright, enough chatter, it's time for cake!"

Gaara looked at the many tables on the sidelines, filled with different kinds of party food, and then he saw the largest table of all, where there was a huge cake in all the colours of the rainbow – and then some. "Nobody knew what your favourite colour is," Naruto explained, "so we just went with all of them."

"Red," Gaara whispered, staring in awe at the huge confection. "My favourite colour is red."

Naruto grinned. "Well, now we know for next year. Go on over there and take a closer look."

Gaara did as he was told, walking over to the table with the cake. On the very top was a little miniature figure of himself, with his sand gourd on his back, and fake sand surrounding him in swirls. It was a very detailed little figure; whoever designed it had even managed to draw in the symbol on his forehead. Gaara turned around to see Naruto, Temari, Baki, Kankurou, and Matsuri standing right there.

"This is...this is amazing," he said simply. "Who did this?"

"I baked the cake," Matsuri said, looking rather proud of herself.

"And I made the figure," Kankurou said. "Look, it moves." He put a hand out and used his chakra strings to make the little mini Gaara move its arms, and the sand moved around as well. Gaara smiled, a very rare occurrence, even now. He looked straight at Naruto, who was also smiling.

"As amazing as it is," Temari said, "it's got to be cut. All these people are waiting for cake."

"Aw man, do we have to cut it?" Matsuri whined. "I worked so hard to get it just perfect!"

"Matsuri, you must have known that this would happen," Baki said. "Why else would you make a birthday cake?"

"Fine, but I get to cut it!" Nobody argued with Matsuri, and soon enough, she was handing out cake to everyone, starting with Gaara of course.

"This is too much, Naruto," Gaara said once they'd each gotten their cake, and had wandered a little bit away from the rest of the people. "When you said you'd make sure my birthday was celebrated this year, I thought you meant just a little party of maybe the two of us, Kankurou, and Temari, not something this large."

Naruto laughed. "You should know me well enough by now to know that I don't do things halfway. If I'm throwing a party for someone, I'm going to go all out! Of course, your brother and sister helped a lot...mostly just in getting everyone together, but still. Besides, you're my friend. I'd do anything for a friend."

Gaara looked down at his feet. _It's now or never, I suppose,_ he thought. "A friend...is that all you think of me as? Just a friend?"

Naruto looked at Gaara in confusion, putting both their plates on a table near them. "What are you talking about?"

"I have long thought of you as much more than a friend, Uzumaki Naruto, and I've hoped that you may think the same of me. But I should know better. As long as Uchiha Sasuke is still out there, you will never be able to think of anyone in that way."

Naruto's face softened. "Gaara, I-"

"Alright, everyone's got their cake, so it's time for presents!" Matsuri announced loudly, making both boys look up at her. "I get to go first!"

"Nuh uh," Kankurou said, "Temari and I do. We're his family."

"Well I'm his student!" Matsuri argued. "I think I deserve to go first!"

"You're all forgetting that I'm his sensei," Baki said. "That means I get first dibs!"

"No, we do!" Temari said, gesturing to herself and Kankurou.

"It doesn't matter who gets to go first," Naruto said, drawing everyone's attention to himself. "Everybody will get to give Gaara a present, just stay calm."

"It's really not necessary," Gaara started, but Naruto stopped him.

"Yes it is. Presents are a huge part of any good birthday experience." He turned his attention to the other people now. "Everybody line up with your present, and give it to him one at a time. He won't open any until the last person has given their present, and it'll be completely his choice which one he opens first, so don't bother pushing and shoving."

Everybody did as Naruto said, though there was still a great deal of pushing and shoving. Nearly every person who gave Gaara a gift whispered to him, "Open this one first," as they handed it over. Naruto rolled his eyes, and Gaara just stood there, quietly thanking each of them. Once everybody had gotten a chance to give a gift, Gaara looked up at Naruto. The blonde nodded. "You can start opening them now."

One by one, Gaara opened the presents. There were many duplicates, due to the largeness of the crowd of people, as well as the fact that pretty much nobody knew Gaara well enough to know what he might like. A lot of the presents were various weapons, or sometimes food or items from Suna's many shops. Every time he opened something, Gaara made a point of thanking whoever got it for him, whether he liked the gift or not, and it was impossible to tell from his expression what he thought of anything.

After a very long time, all the presents were opened, and the party guests mostly chatted amongst themselves, and ate snacks off the tables. Everyone basically left Naruto and Gaara alone.

"Wait a minute," Gaara said after a while, "you didn't get me anything."

Naruto grimaced slightly. "I know. I couldn't think of anything good enough to give you, even though Kankurou said I know you best."

Gaara nodded. "It's okay, you don't have to feel bad about it. It's not like I expected anything at all in the way of presents."

Naruto fell silent, something even rarer than Gaara smiling. "What's wrong, Naruto?" Gaara asked, concerned for his friend.

"It's nothing, just...I was thinking about what you said earlier. I guess I never realized how much I talk about Sasuke. It must annoy you a lot." He looked at Gaara with a small smile.

"It's okay, I've gotten used to it. It really doesn't bother me as much as it used to."

"But it still bothers you, doesn't it?" Gaara had no response to that. Naruto sighed. "When you asked me if I only think of you as a friend...well, to tell you the truth, I've been asking myself that same question for the past while now. I mean, I've been spending so much time here, with you, that...You know what? I'm going to make it up to you. I know I didn't get you a present, but I hope this will do."

"Naruto, you really don't have to do-" Gaara was cut off quite suddenly by the pressure of Naruto's lips against his own, and Naruto's arms pulling him close. Gaara stood there, eyes wide, in total shock for a moment. Then, just as Naruto started to pull away, Gaara snapped out of it. His arms went around Naruto's neck, and pulled him back in, kissing him with a fiery passion. Naruto blinked in surprise, then grinned, returning the kiss.

Temari and Kankurou watched this happen, both of them smiling. "Well, it's about damn time!" Kankurou exclaimed. "Looks like our little Gaara has finally grown a pair!" He laughed as Gaara quickly pulled away from Naruto, blushing deeply. Naruto was grinning as well. Matsuri stood there with tears in her eyes.

"No! No, this isn't supposed to happen! Gaara-sama is supposed to be mine!" She dissolved into tears, as did many of the young kunoichi in the crowd who had dreamed that Gaara might one day belong to them.

Naruto laughed. "Too bad," he said softly, just loud enough that Matsuri could hear, "because it looks like he's all mine." He kissed Gaara again, not caring about all the onlookers, and those in the village who weren't crying in despair were cheering, glad that their beloved Kazekage could finally be happy.

"This is the best birthday I've ever had," Gaara whispered to Naruto once they pulled apart again. Naruto laughed.

"Well, Happy Birthday."

**End**

**Yay! Happy ending for my lovely Gaara! Who's next, you ask? Well, you'll just have to wait four more days to find out, or look it up online if you're really that anxious. XP Happy Birthday, Gaara! I love you! Mwah!**


	3. Shino

**That's right, folks, the second birthday of the year is none other than Aburame Shino! This fanfic is fairly short, and mostly designed to be humourous. Please don't take offense to it...XP I don't hate Shino in any way, he's just not one of my absolute favourites; mostly because he barely says or does anything, except in the fillers at the end of the first series. And he's kinda easy to forget about...I know I'm guilty of it. Lol. I actually completely forgot about him when I was telling a friend about this fic. I told her, "Yeah, January has three birthdays, one right after the other, pretty much. There's Gaara on the 19th, there's...umm...someone else, I can't remember, on the 23rd, and then there's (MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm not telling you guys who's coming up next!) on the 25th." It wasn't until a little while later, when we were talking about something totally unrelated, that I remembered, "Oh, it's SHINO that's on the 23rd! Oops!"**

**This can really take place anywhere you want it to, since I don't think there's anything that really says what time period it should be in...so if you like imagining them as their Shippuden selves, like I do, then go right ahead and place it during Shippuden. If you prefer imagining them as they were before Shippuden, then go ahead and place it during the first series. XP Credit goes out to Deidara is my conscience for helping come up with part of the idea for this. In fact, there are quite a few of these that she's helped me with. XD**

**Chapter 2**

**Shino**

"Hey, Shino," Kiba said randomly one day as Squad 8 sat around, doing nothing, "your birthday's coming up soon, isn't it?" Hinata looked up at this.

"It is?" she asked. "I didn't know that..."

"It doesn't surprise me that you didn't know," Shino said. "My birthday has been the same day every year, and only my dad ever remembers it. There must just be something about me and my dad that makes people forget about us."

"We don't forget about you," Hinata said kind of defensively.

Shino stared at her. "Actually, you have before. Remember the time we were supposed to go on a mission with Kurenai-sensei, and the three of you left without me?"

"We thought you were right behind us," Kiba said.

"I told you guys I'd be back, that I forgot something at home."

Hinata squirmed uncomfortably. "We're sorry, Shino-kun," she mumbled.

"Yeah, it won't happen again," Kiba agreed.

Shino just sighed. "I'm sure it won't," he said, though he didn't sound convinced.

"Tell you what," Kiba started, "we'll make it up to you. When's your birthday?"

"It's January 23rd, though I don't see what the big deal is."

"Well, isn't it obvious?" Kiba asked. "We're going to throw you a party! But you've got to help us plan, so that way we can be absolutely sure it'll be the best party you've ever had."

Hinata nodded. "Yeah, that's what we'll do! Good idea, Kiba-kun!"

Kiba grinned, rather pleased with himself. "So Shino, start talking. What kind of things do you want to do?"

Shino thought for a moment, then said in his flat, emotionless voice, "I want a merry-go-round, and some ponies, and a clown, and a magician, and a bouncy castle, and a huge pink cake, and some fireworks at the end that explode in pretty shapes and colours."

Kiba and Hinata stared at him with wide eyes. Shino just rolled his eyes, though they couldn't exactly see that. "I was joking, you guys," he said. "Did you seriously think I'd ever want something like that?"

"W-well...you kinda sounded serious," Kiba said, still not completely over his shock. "I mean, you said it exactly like you say everything else, so how were we supposed to know it was a joke?"

"I figured you guys knew me better than that," came the reply. Neither Kiba nor Hinata knew what to say to that. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Kurenai walked up.

"What are you three doing here?" she asked in surprise. They all looked up at her.

"Oh, Kurenai-sensei," Kiba said with a grin. "Maybe you can help us. We're trying to come up with something to do for Shino's birthday. Any ideas?"

Kurenai blinked. "Well, what does Shino want to do?"

"We don't know," Hinata said. "He said something, then said he was joking."

"You guys don't have to talk about me like I'm not here," Shino muttered. "It's kinda rude, actually."

"Oops, sorry Shino," Kiba said.

"What would you like to do for your birthday?" Kurenai asked Shino kindly.

"I don't know," he replied. "I suppose just your average party will do...I don't need anything super fantastic."

"Well, that doesn't give us much to go off of," Kiba complained. "Can't you be a bit more helpful? Maybe tell us your favourite colour or something?"

"I don't have a favourite colour," Shino said. "If I did, it would probably be gray."

Kiba frowned. "That's no good. Gray isn't a very good party colour, especially not for a cake or something. Okay, well...what kind of things do you like?"

"Insects."

Kiba made a face. "No. Just no. We are not having a bug themed party."

"But Kiba-kun," Hinata said, "if it's something that Shino-kun likes, shouldn't we try to make it work?"

"Oh, come on, Hinata-chan, you can't seriously say that you wouldn't be creeped out by a bug themed party!" Kiba said with a grimace.

"Am I the only one who truly appreciates insects?" Shino inquired so quietly that none of the other three heard him.

"I think the point Hinata's trying to make, Kiba," Kurenai said, "is that it shouldn't matter what you guys would like, since it's Shino's party. We as guests and party planners must keep in mind what the birthday person is interested in and try to incorporate that into our plans."

"Well, then, what would you suggest, Kurenai-sensei?" Kiba asked as Hinata nodded at her sensei's words.

"As...unappealing as it may seem to us," the jounin replied, "I think we should do our best to do something involving insects for him."

Shino just sighed and resigned himself to the fact that, though Kiba had asked for his opinion on the whole ordeal, there was no way he was going to make any difference in what would happen. He decided that, rather than stay and be totally ignored, he'd just leave. _It's not like they'll notice anyway,_ he thought to himself, then walked off. Sure enough, the other three members of his team didn't even pause in their conversation.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

It was the day of the party, and Shino walked into the room where his party was supposed to be held. He sighed as he saw that, predictably, there were no decorations whatsoever. In fact, the only item in the room which looked somewhat out of the ordinary was the lit candle sitting on a small table. He sighed yet again and found a chair to sit in. "May as well wait to see if anybody shows up," he said to himself, "though I really doubt anyone will." Of course, he was only almost correct. While no other humans showed up, a butterfly found its way into the room and flew over to Shino. He held out a finger for it to land on.

"Hello there, little butterfly," he said to it. "At least you came to say hi." The butterfly flew away towards the candle, which was nearly a tiny little stub by now. "No, wait!" Shino exclaimed, but it was too late. The butterfly flew right into the flame and disintegrated, and Shino looked down at his feet sadly. "Well now," he said to himself, "this was definitely the worst birthday ever." He waited until the candle had completely burned itself out, then left.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Meanwhile, next door, Kiba, Hinata, and the rest of their friends waited, decorations everywhere. "You know," Kiba said eventually, "I don't think he's gonna show up."

"He must have thought we were going to forget about him," Hinata said, "so he didn't bother to come."

"Damn. That sucks."

**End**

**Okay, so I was nicer than I originally planned on being. XP I was just going to leave it at the butterfly burning, but I'm not quite mean enough for that, so I added the thing with everyone at the other party. XP It's still really short though. Oh well. I don't like Shino enough to bother writing more for him. Sorry, Shino! You're awesome, but...not quite that awesome. The length of these chapters will vary, depending on who it is. I've already started writing Sasuke's birthday fic, though his birthday isn't for a long time, and it's currently on its 7th page...and it's not even close to being done yet. So yes, there will be some quite long fics. I don't think any of them will end up being as short as this...and if it's shorter, then I'll likely just skip over whoever it was supposed to be. Unless it's an Akatsuki member, in which case I'll fill it with some fluff, because I vowed to write something for all of them except Zetsu, who doesn't appear to have a birthday. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that! Please review, and I hope to see you all again in two days time when the next fanfic is posted!**


	4. Minato

**SPOILER ALERT! If you don't read the manga and/or are not caught up with it (at least to a while ago) then THIS HAS SPOILERS! If you aren't totally caught up with where the actual plot of the anime is, then THIS HAS SPOILERS!**

**In any case, this is the birthday fanfic for Namikaze Minato – for those of you that don't recognize that name, he's the Yondaime (Fourth) Hokage. I'm going to try my hardest not to put any real spoilers in the author's note or the first bit of the fic, so that way people who aren't caught up with everything won't see something to ruin other things, and I'd appreciate it if reviews had minimal spoilers as well, because I know of a few people who like to go read the reviews of a story, and there are things involving Minato and his wife, Kushina, that I believe people should see for themselves in the anime/manga and not be told by another person or a fanfic. So yeah, this takes place...probably just over 16 years before Shippuden (so about 12 – 13 from the first series), and sadly, it will most likely be very short, seeing as I don't really know enough about either Minato or Kushina to write a longer fic. I hope you'll all enjoy it anyway.**

**Btw, in case you can't figure it out, this is going to be MinatoKushina. I guess that would be...MinaKushi? XP**

**Chapter 3**

**Minato**

Minato sighed. There were times when he really questioned whether being Hokage was worth all the paperwork and boringness. He loved his job, because it meant he got to protect his village, but at the same time, it wasn't always as exciting as he'd originally thought it would be.

"You should be happy about that," Kushina had said when he'd mentioned it to her. "The less exciting things are, the less you have to worry about the safety of Konoha, right? And I know you like to play the hero and save the world and all, but even heroes need a break every once in a while."

He shook his head, clearing it of those thoughts, and focused back on his work. Once it got to the point that all the letters were starting to dance around in front of his eyes, he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face. _Guess it's time to go home,_ he thought to himself, and got up.

Kushina looked up as Minato walked in the door. She went right up to him and started waving a spatula in his face. "And just where have you been?" she demanded. He started to answer, but she shushed him. "Nuh uh. I don't want any excuses. You just go sit yourself down, and I'll serve dinner. Go!" Minato chuckled and went to sit down obediently. Kushina served dinner, as she said she would.

"You know," she said as they ate, "I totally get that you love your job and everything, but did you really have to stay so late on your birthday?"

"I'm sorry, Kushina," he replied. "I had a bunch of paperwork that needed doing tonight, and if I'd left it for tomorrow, then I would've forgotten about it."

"That's what you say every night." Kushina pouted cutely. "Am I not good enough for you?"

"You know that's not it," Minato said, "and before you ask, no, I do not love my job more than you. I told you, right at the beginning, that it would be a lot of responsibility for me, and that I might not get to spend quite as much time with you as I did before. That's all this is."

"I know...it just gets so lonely here without you, you know?"

Minato smiled. "Well, I'm sorry about that. I'll try to get better at not staying so late. Anything new happen today?"

Kushina shrugged. "I talked to Mikoto earlier."

"How is she doing?"

"She and Fugaku are both excited for this next baby, though it's more her than him, and Itachi is looking forward to having a little brother or sister." She looked at her husband. "Do you ever want to have kids?"

"Of course I do," he replied, smiling. "We'll have a nice family, with at least two kids, and one of those kids will become Hokage later in life."

There was a pause while Kushina cleared the dishes and cleaned them up, then the both of them sat on the couch, Kushina's head on Minato's shoulder. "What will our kids look like, do you think?"

"Well, I know at least one of them will have your beautiful hair," he replied, kissing her forehead. She giggled.

"They'd all better have your eyes," she said. "Yours are much nicer than mine."

"What are you talking about? Your eyes are beautiful."

Kushina laughed. "Yeah, right. Gray is such a boring colour, especially for eyes."

Minato pulled her close and kissed her deeply. By the time he pulled away, she was staring at him in a daze, a faint blush on her cheeks. "Your eyes are beautiful," he repeated softly. Her blush deepened.

"Minato..." She blinked and looked away. "Happy Birthday," she said with a smile. He gently took her chin and made her look at him.

"What's wrong, Kushina?"

"Nothing, nothing at all!" she insisted. "Do you want your birthday present now or later?"

"Later," he replied, "after you tell me what's wrong. And don't try to say it's nothing again, I know you better than that."

"I just...are you absolutely sure that you want kids?"

Minato looked at his wife for a long while. "Are you...is there something you're trying to tell me?" 

She hesitated. "Well, I don't know for sure, but I think...I think I'm pregnant."

He blinked. "Really? Kushina, that's great! That's amazing! That's..." He pulled her close and kissed her. She giggled into the kiss, then pulled away.

"I'm glad you're so happy about it," she said, "but don't get your hopes up just yet. I could be wrong."

"You haven't been wrong about anything before," he replied. "Except for your ridiculous thought that your hair wasn't pretty."

She smiled. "Well...that's true...but just in case, why don't we go make sure that even if I'm wrong, we can turn it around? It's my birthday present to you."

Minato stood and helped Kushina up. "After you, my beautiful wife," he said with a smile, gesturing her out of the room.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Nine months later, in early October, Naruto was born...

**End**

**Yay! I'm really sorry it was so short, I honestly couldn't think of anything else to put for them... Okay, for those of you who are kinda confused, Kushina WAS preggers already. And for those of you trying to do the math, don't forget that Kushina was the previous Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, and any time a Jinchuuriki gets preggers, it takes TEN months instead of the usual nine. I forgot about that until I was just randomly looking up stuff about Kushina (I forgot what colour her eyes are...technically they're violet, but they're portrayed as gray in the anime, so that's what I went with. XP) and I was originally planning for this night to be the night Naruto was conceived...I thought it'd be kinda romantic. But then logic just had to go and ruin my plans...stupid logic. XD Please review and let me know what you thought!**


	5. Suigetsu

**Happy Birthday to Hōzuki Suigetsu! I really do like him...he's always been the one to bring humour to the otherwise too serious group of Taka...or Hebi, as they were known before. Meh. Alright, this chapter needs some explanation, otherwise you're all gonna be really confluffled. This is AU, simply because it's the only way I could figure out to write for him. I mean, we don't exactly know enough of Suigetsu's past for me to write something like that, and I honestly doubt that Sasuke, Karin, or Juugo would do anything for him, soooo...**

**So anyway, this is a college fic. In other words, I've placed the characters in college. I MAY have been slightly inspired by the fanfic "Lights Out" by NaruSasuNaruLover...just maybe. XP The only back story you need is that Sasuke and Suigetsu have been friends forever, same with Kiba and Naruto, and each of those pairs had their own circle of friends (I'm sure you can figure out which characters would be on which side of that). So once they all got to high school, and Kiba and Suigetsu met up, those two started hanging out more, seeing as the two of them are so incredibly alike that it's kinda scary. XP Eventually both of the groups started hanging out together, Sasuke and Naruto got together, and so did Kiba and Suigetsu. Now, all of them are in college, and Sasuke and Suigetsu share a dorm, as do Kiba and Naruto. Things have been going great for all of them, except that lately, Suigetsu's had his doubts about Kiba...**

**In case you can't tell from that explanation, this fic is mostly KibaSui, with some mentions of implied SasuNaru and some (?) KibaHina. XP I know, I know, I said at the beginning I'd only mention the pairings that differ from the list I put, but I think I might end up putting the pairings at the beginning of each chapter, just so people are aware and can't get mad at me if the pairing isn't quite to their liking. XD This is the first birthday fanfic that isn't largely about the person's birthday! Yay! In fact, the topic of Suigetsu's birthday isn't even brought up until the very end...**

**Yeah, so here goes!**

**Chapter 4**

**Suigetsu**

"...so then, she walks up to me, right, and she's all 'Oh...Naruto...I didn't see you there', and so I go, 'Hey, Hinata, what's up?', and she's like, 'Have...have you seen Kiba around? I need to talk to him.' and so I go, 'Sure, let me go get him.' And now I'm here, so go find Hinata."

Kiba sat on his bed, staring at Naruto incredulously. "Couldn't you just have told me Hinata's looking for me?" he asked. "I really didn't need the explanation of what you and Sasuke were doing in the hallway." Suigetsu tried to suppress a laugh from beside Kiba. Naruto frowned.

"But it was a good story," he said. "And anyway, you'd better go find Hinata before she starts calling everyone's room in search of you. Again."

Kiba sighed. "Yeah, okay. Back in a minute." He kissed Suigetsu quickly before leaving the dorm room. Suigetsu sighed.

"So, where did Sasuke run off to after the janitor caught you?" he asked Naruto.

"Dunno, I think he went back to your guys' room," the blonde replied. In an instant, Suigetsu was up and heading out the door. "Wait!" Naruto called. "What do you need him for?"

"To talk," Suigetsu called back, then he was gone.

He opened the door to his and Sasuke's room. The raven-haired teen was laying on his bed, reading a book. He didn't look up as his roommate entered. Suigetsu closed the door and flopped onto his own bed with a sigh.

"What happened this time?" Sasuke asked, still not looking up.

"It's Kiba," Suigetsu replied.

"Of course it is. When is it not?" Suigetsu glared at his friend.

"Not funny."

"It wasn't meant to be. Now, what happened?"

Suigetsu was silent for a long while. "I think he's having an affair with Hinata."

This made Sasuke look up from his book. "Are you serious?" he asked, staring at the other teen. "Suigetsu, Kiba has been over Hinata since shortly after you started dating him, what makes you think he's having an affair with her now?"

Suigetsu frowned. This wasn't the response he'd been hoping for. "He's been spending a lot of time with her, and he automatically goes to her when she calls for him."

"That doesn't mean he's cheating on you. Does he go to her dorm overnight?"

"I don't know, I share a dorm with you, not him!" Suigetsu exclaimed. Sasuke ignored the tone of the reply.

"Does he seem out of breath and all flushed or flustered when he comes back from 'talking' to her?"

Suigetsu had to think about that for a moment. "Sometimes," he answered honestly.

"Have you ever called him and had her answer instead of him?" Sasuke continued.

"Once or twice."

"Does he insist on taking a shower between seeing her and you?"

"Well, no, not generally." Suigetsu paused. "You seem to know a lot of the signs of cheating," he remarked.

Sasuke gave his friend a pointed stare. "I dealt with it a lot when I was with Neji back in high school."

"Oh, right." Suigetsu looked away, embarrassed. "Sorry, I forgot."

"Lucky you," Sasuke muttered. "Anyway, does he smell like her afterwards?"

"Yes, most of the time."

"Does he talk about her a lot?"

"Yes."

"Does he space out when you're talking because he's thinking of her and what she's doing at that moment?"

Suigetsu had to pause again and think about it. "I don't think so...I mean, he spaces out a lot, but I don't know what he's thinking of."

"Hmm..." Sasuke was silent for a while. "This is difficult. Knowing Kiba, I still don't think he's cheating on you, but it certainly sounds like he might be...of course, he might just be doing something completely innocent. You won't know until you talk to him about it."

"Are you insane?" Suigetsu exclaimed. "I can't talk to him about it! He'll just deny the whole thing, whether it's true or not, so how am I supposed to know the real answer?"

"Suigetsu, do you really need me to tell you that?" Sasuke said in exasperation. "You're not an idiot, however much you may act like one when it comes to relationships, you should be able to figure it out." He turned back to his book. "Just trust me. Go talk to him when you get the chance. If he's lying when he denies it, like you're so certain he will, you should be able to tell. You've been with him for nearly a year now, and you were friends long before that, so if you can't figure out whether he's lying or not, then maybe the two of you aren't as close as you think you are."

Suigetsu sighed. "Maybe you're right. In any case, I'm going to sleep now."

"At 8?"

"It's 8 now, and I said I'm going to sleep, so yeah."

"Don't get snippy with me," Sasuke warned. "I'm trying to help you, remember?"

"Sorry," Suigetsu mumbled. He'd almost forgotten how Sasuke could be when he was annoyed, as the Uchiha had been in a better mood nearly every day since he'd gotten together with Naruto.

"You might not want to get too comfortable, though," Sasuke said a moment later. "Naruto's coming over in a couple minutes."

"That's fine, I'll listen to my music. I won't be able to hear a thing."

Sasuke frowned. "Why don't you and Naruto switch rooms for tonight? That way he and I won't feel awkward with you in the room, and you and Kiba can talk...or whatever."

"I don't want to talk to him right now," Suigetsu protested.

"Then don't talk. Go there for some fun."

"I'm upset with him, why would I want to go have 'fun'?"

"Then just go so you can be out of my hair." By now, Sasuke was getting annoyed again.

Suigetsu sighed. That was now twice in one night he'd managed to annoy Sasuke, he knew he should just stop where he was. "Okay, fine," he conceded. "I'll go. But you'd better be really damn thankful, because I'm only doing it for you."

"Yeah, yeah," Sasuke said, "just go already."

Suigetsu left, heading back to Kiba and Naruto's room. He passed Naruto in the hall, and the blonde winked at him, grinning.

"Kiba's not in there right now," Naruto said, "but the door's unlocked, so you can just go in." Suigetsu nodded silently and continued on. He reached the room and opened the door, going over and laying on Kiba's bed with a huge sigh. _I guess I could sleep for a bit,_ he thought as he closed his eyes.

What seemed like seconds later, though the clock told him it had been a couple hours, he was woken by the sound of Kiba's voice from a little ways away.

"...can come in here," the brunette was saying. "Naruto's gone for the night, so we can be alone."

Suigetsu sat up and watched as Kiba walked in with his arm around Hinata. Suigetsu's eyes widened, then narrowed almost instantly. He jumped up, glaring at his boyfriend.

"I knew it!" he exclaimed. Hinata gave a little frightened squeal and hid behind Kiba, who was staring at Suigetsu in surprise.

"What are you doing here, Suigetsu?" he asked, still in shock.

"That doesn't matter," the light-haired teen said, shaking his head, "what matters is that I caught you. You're cheating on me with that dumb bimbo, aren't you?"

"What? Suigetsu, what the hell are you talking about?" Kiba asked. "And don't call her a bimbo."

"Don't treat me like an idiot, Kiba, I've seen the signs for a long time. I just thought that maybe, just maybe, I was reading too much into it, and it really was innocent. Sasuke told me to talk to you about what's going on...I guess I know now." Suigetsu shook his head. "I'm done competing with her. Since we started going out, you've never been completely mine, you've had her the whole time. Well now you can have her all you want, because I'm outta here." He pushed past Kiba and Hinata, heading out the door.

"S-Suigetsu, wait!" Kiba called. He started to follow, then stopped and turned to Hinata, putting his hands on the side of her shoulders. "Wait here, okay? I'll be right back." She nodded, and he left.

Suigetsu was halfway to his room when he remembered that Naruto was there, and therefore he had nowhere to go. He stopped, and his knees gave in, forcing him to crumple to the floor. He tried to hold back his tears, but it didn't work. Hurt, anger, betrayal...all of these came flowing out, and he doubled over, trying to muffle the sounds of his sobs.

"Suigetsu!" Kiba ran up and knelt beside the light-haired teen, putting an arm around him. Suigetsu jerked away from him.

"Don't touch me!" he shrieked.

"Suigetsu, it's not what you're thinking," Kiba insisted. "Just...come on, get off the floor. Come with me, and I'll explain everything."

"There's nothing to explain," Suigetsu said angrily, wiping his face. "You're cheating on me with Hinata. It's perfectly clear."

"No, that's not it at all. Suigetsu, why would I cheat on you? We've been together for almost a year now, that just doesn't make sense."

"You've probably gotten tired of me," Suigetsu mumbled. "Besides, you never got over her." Kiba sighed and picked Suigetsu up off the floor, then gently took his chin and made Suigetsu look at him.

"Suigetsu, listen to me," he said, eyes boring into the other teen's. "I could never cheat on you, I love you too much for that. Will you give me a chance to explain what's really going on?" Suigetsu looked at Kiba, then looked down at his feet and nodded. "Good," Kiba said. "Then come with me." He led his boyfriend back to his room, where Hinata was still waiting. Kiba looked at her. "Do you mind if I tell him?" he asked. "I promise you he'll keep the secret."

Hinata looked at Suigetsu, then nodded slowly. "G-go ahead," she agreed. Kiba made Suigetsu sit on his bed, then he sat as well, holding each of the light-haired teen's hands.

"The only reason I've been spending so much time with Hinata is because she needs a friend right now, and I'm the only one she's trusted enough to come to about the whole thing."

Suigetsu looked from Kiba to Hinata, then back again. "Huh?" he said. "I don't get it."

"To make a long story short, she's been having issues with her relationship with Neji," Kiba began.

"Wait, hold on, isn't Neji her cousin? Why is she dating him?"

"Because our parents forced us to," Hinata said in a very small voice. "Our family is very important, so our parents want the good Hyuuga genes to be passed down as far as they can be without getting tainted. Neither Neji nor I want this, but we have no choice."

Kiba nodded. "Exactly. The only thing is, Neji has been showing Hinata exactly how much he hates being with her. He's been taking out everything on her, basically treating her like a punching bag." He looked away, his grip on Suigetsu's hands tightening. "It makes me sick," he spat. "I'd love to go over there and give the bastard a piece of my mind, but..." He sighed. "Anyway, so Hinata needed somebody to be there for her, somebody she could come to after something particularly bad happened."

"And that's where you come in," Suigetsu stated, and Kiba nodded again. Suigetsu shook his head. "Oh, God, I feel absolutely horrible now. All this time, I thought you were cheating on me, when really you were just...ugh! I'm such a horrible person!"

Kiba hugged him tightly. "No, you're not. It's my fault too, I should've said something earlier. I never realized what it must look like to others, and I'm sorry." The two boys heard the door close, and looked up to see that Hinata had left.

"I hope I didn't interrupt anything important," Suigetsu said as he remembered that Kiba and Hinata had been wanting to come to this room to be alone.

"No, it's fine. She already told me what she needed to, we were just coming here so I could try and cheer her up. You know, watch a couple movies, play some games, that kind of stuff. She didn't want to have to go back to her dorm so soon, but I guess she changed her mind."

Suigetsu smiled. "She probably wanted to give us some privacy," he said, and kissed Kiba deeply, suddenly in a playful mood. He pushed Kiba over on the bed, and the brunette laughed.

"Talk about a huge change in attitude," he remarked. Suigetsu smirked.

"Shut up," he said lovingly, then kissed his boyfriend again. Kiba didn't object.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

A while later, the two boys laid together, Kiba holding Suigetsu close and Suigetsu with an arm draped over Kiba's chest. Suigetsu looked up at the clock and smiled, as it was now just past midnight.

"You know," he noted, "it's technically my birthday now."

Kiba smiled as well and kissed Suigetsu's nose. "Then let me be the first to wish you Happy Birthday."

**End**

**Yay! Happy times! I apologize to any of you who aren't that big on yaoi, as it tends to play a fairly big part in my fics...rest assured, however, that the next birthday will not involve any yaoi at all. I know, I know, some of you will be slightly disappointed. I may be a hopeless yaoi fangirl (especially when it comes to Naruto characters), but I've got some regular pairings I enjoy writing/reading as well, believe it or not. XP Anyway, please review! I hope you enjoyed it, and don't forget to wish Suigetsu a Happy Birthday in any way you can!**

**If any of you have any requests for characters or pairings you'd like to see have a chapter, please let me know. Chances are very good that whichever character you want is already on my list, but in case they aren't, please let me know. XP I'd love to write for as many characters as I possibly can, even though it'll be kinda difficult to find time for all of them...I'll find a way. So yeah, just let me know. That's the third time I've said that...oh well. REVIEW!**


	6. Konan

**Happy Birthday to Konan today! This will be one of the (probably) two fics for members of the Akatsuki that doesn't involve the others. Wow, that was a bit of a confusing sentence...in any case, I've decided that nearly all of the Akatsuki members will have a fic that involves the others, so therefore isn't in their past. The only exceptions to this rule are Konan, as you will see shortly, and Itachi, simply because I love Itachi too much to not do something totally awesome. Of course, with him, I might end up doing a sort of half and half fic...flashbacks to an earlier time while he's still in the (sort of) current time. Or I might end up doing something involving wherever the people go when they die. I don't know! I don't need to know what I'm doing with him (lol) for another couple months, so it doesn't matter just yet. What matters now is Konan.**

**So anyway, this takes place in the past. It's after Jiraiya found the three Ame orphans and taught them ninjutsu and all that fun stuff, before he left them, and while they're still fairly young. No real pairings are involved, since I just don't feel like it. XP Sadly, this is going to be another short one, just because I'm not too good with the characters who don't get to be seen very much. Hence why Shino's chapter was so short...XP However, I feel that the ending will more than make up for the length. The characters may seem a tad bit OOC, but I figure I've got creative freedom with them, seeing as this takes place during a part of their past that is just barely touched on at all, so whatevs.**

**I should probably stop going on about what's going to happen and just type it already, shouldn't I? Well, maybe I'm just stalling for time, because at this point, I have no idea what's going to happen.**

**Konan: Just get on with my chapter already, or else...or else...I'll fold paper at you!**

**Me: GAAAAH! Noes, not the paper, anything but the paper! Okay, okay, I'll get on with it...**

**Chapter 5**

**Konan**

"So, what do you three want to do today?" Jiraiya asked his current students.

"Let's do more training and get stronger!" Yahiko suggested, a huge grin on his face.

"We train every day pretty much," Nagato pointed out quietly, "can't we take a break for once?"

"Besides," Konan added, "it's my birthday today. I don't want to spend it fighting."

"It is?" all three of her companions said, giving her a blank look. She nodded.

"Today is February 20th, right? Or have I been keeping track of the days wrong?"

"No no," Jiraiya said, "you're right. And Nagato is also right that you three are training nearly every day. While training is important, taking breaks is almost more important...depending on whether you know when to take them."

"Awww man," Yahiko whined. "No training today?"

"Nope," Jiraiya confirmed.

"Then what are we going to do?" Nagato asked.

"I think we should leave that up to Konan, don't you?" All three looked at Konan, who blushed and looked at her feet.

"I don't really know what I want to do," she admitted. "My birthday hasn't been celebrated in so long...I figured today could be different, since we're all doing so well now, but I don't know. My parents were always in charge of figuring out what would happen, I just sort of went along with it."

"Well if you'd given us more time to think about it," Yahiko started, "instead of just springing this on us, then maybe we could've come up with something good."

"I never thought of it before now," Konan said, a slight blush on her pale cheeks. "Though I suppose I have wanted to see other parts of the world. I mean, I know they exist, but I've never been very far outside of Amegakure."

"Actually, it might be nice to spend the day exploring new places," Nagato said very quietly. Jiraiya grinned.

"Alright, then, it's settled! First stop: Kusagakure! It's the closest hidden village to here, plus there are tons of great forests and nice rivers along the way. I think you three would enjoy seeing some greenery for once."

Yahiko groaned. "A nature walk? Really? Do we have to?"

"Hey, it's my birthday, not yours," Konan told him, "and I think it's a great idea."

Yahiko grumbled some more, but he went with the other three anyway. They all walked in the direction of Kusagakure, and it was very obvious the moment they'd crossed into its country. There was no rain anymore, and the surrounding area became more lush and green than any of the three orphans could have imagined. They stopped and stared around them in wonder, and even Yahiko was amazed, though he denied it wholeheartedly.

"See?" Jiraiya said once the kids had finally decided to continue on. "Isn't it nice here?"

"This is amazing!" Konan said with a huge smile. "Thank you so much, Jiraiya-sensei!"

"Don't thank me yet," he said, "we haven't even gotten to Kusa."

"Well, if this village is so great, then why don't we hurry up?" Yahiko said, putting on his act of being upset with the trip. Konan rolled her eyes.

"Have you never heard the phrase 'Stop to smell the flowers' before?" she asked.

"I've smelled plenty of flowers today," Yahiko argued.

"That's not what it means, moron. It means to take things slow, and not just rush straight to whatever your goal is."

"Konan's right," Jiraiya said. "We as shinobi so rarely get times like this, where we can simply take our time and enjoy the little things that come our way, so when we finally get the opportunity, we should do just that. The reason I brought you guys over this way was exactly that, so you could enjoy the things along the way. So stop pretending like you're not having fun, Yahiko, when I've seen how much you're enjoying this trip."

Konan giggled. "Sensei is so smart," she said happily. Yahiko stuck his tongue out at her.

"If you like him so much, why don't you marry him?" he teased. Konan's cheeks went bright red.

"Take that back!" she exclaimed, moving to punch him. Jiraiya stood between the two, stopping them.

"Nuh uh," he said. "I already told you, we're not doing any training of any kind today. Now just calm down, both of you, and let's keep going."

The four of them continued on, Yahiko still teasing Konan, and Nagato walking on the other side of Jiraiya with a small smile on his face. Jiraiya was smiling too, happy that the three orphans were doing so well.

"Sensei," Konan said after a while, making Jiraiya look over at her, "you're not thinking of leaving us anytime soon, right?"

"Well, I'll have to get back to Konoha eventually," he replied. "I mean, that is still my home, after all. But even once I go back, I'll never actually leave you three. I'll always be a part of you, just like you all will always be a part of me. A good shinobi never forgets his students, don't you worry."

Konan smiled and nodded, satisfied with that answer, and they continued walking in relative silence, stopping every once in a while to take a closer look at some of the plants.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Konan woke up, surprised to find tears on her face. She blinked a few times to clear her thoughts.

"Something wrong?" Nagato asked from beside her. She looked up at him, and at the contraption he was in, then sighed and wiped her face.

"Nothing," she replied, "just dreaming of the past. We were all so happy..."

"We'll be happy again," he insisted, "just the two of us. We don't need Yahiko or Jiraiya-sensei."

"I know," Konan said softly, then rolled over and closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

**End**

**There! It's done! I didn't actually put in the part of them going into Kusa, since I'm not entirely sure what's in there. XP All the stuff I put about it being the closest village to Amegakure, and all the greenery and everything, that's all true. I got it off of the Naruto wiki, but I couldn't find enough info about Kusagakure itself for me to feel comfortable writing any scenes in there. I hope that was satisfactory! I like Konan...she was probably the one out of all the Akatsuki who was there for the least selfish of reasons. I mean, going somewhere just because the person you love is going to the same place COULD be considered selfish...but at the same time, it isn't quite as bad. Of course, Itachi's reasons were pretty noble as well, but I'm not gonna get into that right now. **

**I hope you enjoyed it, now please review! The next chapter won't be until March 18th, so there's quite a way to go still.**


	7. Kisame

**I think we need to inject a bit of humour in these chapters, don't you guys? So far, they've mostly been cute or romantic or something like that...well, not anymore. The next three, at least, are going to be mostly funny.**

**So let's kick the humour off with a tribute to Hoshigake Kisame! Yay! This won't really have much in the way of romance, aside from me poking fun at ItaDei and PeinKonan. Oh, and just a little note, this is assuming that none of the Akatsuki members are dead, not even Sasori, though Tobi will be there...dunno exactly how that works, it just does. XP WARNING: All of the Akatsuki are going to be quite OOC, except possibly Tobi, who's random and retarded enough that he might actually say/do a couple of the things I've made him say/do. Well, here goes everything!**

**Chapter 6**

**Kisame**

"Do you have any 3's?" Zetsu's black half asked.

"Go fish," Itachi replied. Zetsu picked up a card from the middle, grumbling. "Kakuzu, do you have any 5's?" Itachi continued, glancing up at the other man.

"I still don't see why I have to give it to you," Kakuzu said. "It's my card, I picked it up fair and square. Shouldn't I get to keep it?"

"Jeez, Kakuzu, I didn't realize you were like this with everything," Hidan complained. "I thought it was only with money. Just give him the damn card and let's get on with the stupid game."

Muttering under his breath, Kakuzu reluctantly handed the card over to Itachi, whose expression remained unchanged. "Konan, do you have-" Itachi began, only to be interrupted by Kakuzu.

"Hey! Isn't it my turn now?"

"No," Itachi replied, "because you had to give me a card. Therefore I go again."

"This is a stupid game," Sasori commented. "Why are we even playing it?"

"Because I said so," Pein informed him. "Itachi, continue."

Itachi sighed. "Konan, do you have an 8?"

She shook her head. "No. Go fish."

At that moment, Deidara walked in. "What's going on here?" he asked.

"Where the hell were you, you bastard?" Hidan exclaimed, glaring at Deidara. "We were waiting for over an hour!"

"Well, I had a long way to go," the blonde said defensively. "Couldn't you have started without me?"

"No," Pein said. "I called you all here, in person, for a very specific reason, and it couldn't be discussed without everybody."

"Then why isn't Kisame here?" Itachi asked.

"Because it's about Kisame," Pein said simply. "It's his birthday, and the first one that he's going to be celebrating with us, so therefore we must make it something special."

"Wait, his birthday is today?" Deidara said. "Why didn't you tell us about this earlier?"

"And how do you know when his birthday is?" Itachi pointed out.

"I didn't even know he had a birthday!" Tobi said happily. Everybody ignored him.

"I've done some fairly extensive research on each of you," Pein replied. "I had to make sure that there were no little surprises before I allowed you in the group."

"But how did you find any of this information?" Hidan asked.

"I have my ways," Pein said mysteriously. This made an awkward silence descend upon the room.

"Umm..." Deidara began, "just how much info did you find on us?"

Pein smirked. "I'd rather not say. Now, on to the topic I called you here for. What do we do for Kisame's birthday?"

"Nothing," Deidara suggested. "Celebrating birthdays is for kids, not sexy S-rank criminals like us."

"If we're all so sexy, then why don't we have a sexy party?" Hidan said.

"Oooh! I know!" Tobi said excitedly. "We should all go to a strip bar!"

Everybody stared at their masked teammate in shock. There was even a bit of a "wtf" expression on Itachi's face.

"You know, I think that's actually a good idea," Hidan said slowly.

"But would Kisame appreciate it?" Pein asked. "Or would it be something we should do for someone else?"

"Maybe we could go to the aquarium?" Sasori suggested. "That's gotta be the equivalent of a strip bar for someone like Kisame."

"Wouldn't he just try to eat all the fish there?" Deidara said, clearly opposed to the idea of doing anything to celebrate anything.

"No," Itachi said, "not after he joined this new group. I don't know what it's called, but I keep hearing him say 'Fish are friends; not food' whenever he sees any fish swimming around."

"That's just weird," Kakuzu said. Everybody agreed silently.

"So...aquarium?" Pein asked in clarification.

"Yeah, sure," Hidan said.

"Whatever we do, it'll make more sense and be more entertaining than playing this stupid game," Kakuzu said, standing up and throwing his cards to the ground.

"Hey look!" Tobi exclaimed as he ripped up his cards and flung the pieces into the air. "Confetti!"

"You owe me new cards," Itachi said, not impressed.

"Go kick his ass!" Hidan urged.

"Yeah, those cards probably cost you money," Kakuzu agreed. Itachi shrugged.

"I got them off the body of some shinobi I killed a while back, so it's not the money I'm worried about," he said simply. "It's just that now the number of cards isn't what it should be, so I can't use them again."

"Well, I'd still be angry about it," Deidara said. "Why aren't you angry?"

"I am," Itachi replied. Everybody looked very closely at his face, but there was no discernible difference there to prove his statement. He still looked as calm and unaffected as he always did.

"You know," Deidara commented, "I don't think I've ever seen you look angry about anything. Is it even possible for you?"

"I think that the Uchiha clan must have some sort of disease that makes it so they can never show emotion," Kakuzu said.

"Not true," Kisame said, joining the group now. "Itachi's little brother shows anger quite well. In fact, he's nearly as good at it as some of us are. Itachi is just the anomaly of his family."

"Can we stop talking about this now?" Itachi asked, still fairly calmly.

"We have work to do," Pein said. "Everybody, come with me." Konan and Pein led the way, and all the other Akatsuki members followed. They were walking two by two, each with their partners, much to Kakuzu's dismay. Zetsu and Tobi brought up the rear. The Akatsuki walked to an unknown (before now) land, and then into that land's Hidden Village, which just so happened to be full of aquariums. Kisame raised an eyebrow.

"Why are we here?" he asked.

"We're here to celebrate your birthday," Pein replied, stopping at the doors of one of the aquariums. A woman stood at a desk there, smiling widely at everybody.

"Welcome," she said cheerfully. "Entrance fee is-"

"We're not paying any money," Kakuzu interrupted. "Let us in or we'll kill you."

"Kakuzu, shut the hell up," Hidan told him.

"We're not here to kill anybody," Pein told his group. "We're here to enjoy Kisame's birthday."

"Oh, is this for a birthday party?" the woman at the desk asked, smile never wavering. "Birthday party groups of 8 or more get in free! And the birthday person always gets a balloon of his or her choice! So who's the lucky person?"

Pein pushed Kisame forward. "This is the birthday boy," he replied. Hidan snickered, and Kisame looked like he was going to kill someone. Or possibly die of embarrassment. Or both. Probably both.

"Well, hello there," the woman said. "And how old are you today?"

"None of your business," Kisame replied.

"Okay, I'll just grab your balloon choices for that age." She ducked down, then came back up with many balloons in her hand, of many different colours. Each of them said on it, in white writing, "Happy none of your business-th birthday!" The woman smiled. "Now, which colour would you like?"

Kisame blinked in surprise. "Umm...all of them?"

"Of course! I can always blow up some more."

This peaked Deidara's interest. "Did you just say something about blowing something up? I love blowing things up!"

"No, you just like blowing things," Sasori said under his breath. Deidara glared at his partner, cheeks turning red.

"You're not supposed to know about that!" he hissed, glancing briefly at Itachi. The Uchiha seemed not to have heard the conversation. "Who told you?" he asked Sasori.

Sasori smirked. "That's for me to know and you to never find out." Deidara scowled, then Pein spoke.

"Okay, let's go in now," he said, and they all traipsed inside.

"Bye bye, now, have a good time," the woman at the desk said, smiling and waving at all of them.

"Whose bright idea was this to come to an aquarium for my birthday?" Kisame asked, clearly not impressed.

"It's all Sasori's fault," Deidara replied.

"Stop accusing each other," Pein commanded. "We're here to have fun. Kisame, it's your birthday, so you lead the way."

"Do we have to be here?" Kisame asked. "I'd really rather not do anything special. A birthday is just another day, and I prefer to spend my days fighting and killing people."

"We have nothing urgent to do right now," Pein replied. "The bijuu can wait, we've got enough members...we could all use a day of fun."

"Yeah, well, like Kisame said, fun for most of us is killing people," Hidan said. "There's a whole village here that nobody knows about, and nobody would notice if it suddenly didn't exist, since nobody knows it does exist in the first place. Let's destroy it."

"I like that idea," Kisame said. "And as you've said, it's my birthday, so shouldn't I get to decide what we do?"

Pein sighed and closed his eyes. "Alright, a show of hands. How many of you would rather destroy this village?" He opened his eyes once more to count, only to find that Tobi was the only person whose hand was not raised. "Okay, fine. But this is the only time you all get to go against what I say." Cheers erupted from the group, and everybody rushed off in different directions. Well, every pair, that is. Pein and Konan stayed right where they were, and Konan put a hand on Pein's shoulder.

"Maybe it's better this way," she said. "If we give them room to do what they want sometimes, then they'll be more likely to follow our orders in the future. I mean...your orders," she added hastily, seeing the look on Pein's face. He sighed and shrugged her hand off.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go join the fun."

In a matter of minutes, the village with all the aquariums no longer existed.

**End**

**There! Humour! Yay! XP I hope you all enjoyed it, and Happy Birthday once again to Kisame! Please review, and don't forget to tune in next time (which will incidentally be in 10 days).**


	8. Hidan

**This was supposed to be posted yesterday, but I was out for the entire day, so I suppose I'll just have to post it a day late. How sad.**

**First things first: I will reply to And here comes the chocobunny, even though I know you've said previously that I don't need to. ;P I agree that Obito is awesome, but sadly, we don't get to find out enough about him for me to feel good about making a proper fic for him. I'd hate to start writing and then only get 2 or 3 pages...it was okay for Shino, because he's not quite as awesome as Obito (in my mind, at least) and so it didn't matter as much. XD I'm glad you decided to read this fic, though! I always enjoy reading your enthusiastic reviews**

**So I was going to make a chapter for Sakura on March 28th, but I decided that I don't like her enough to do that. Honestly, I love making fun of her, but I don't even enough material to do an entire chapter of Sakura bashing, as much as I wish I did. So instead, I decided to skip her and go straight to Hidan. Yes, that's right, everybody look out. It's Hidan's birthday today, April 2nd. However, if you want what would have been Sakura's chapter, it'll be in the A/N at the end of this one.**

**This is a sort of more elaborate form of an idea that popped into my head the other day, while re-watching the whole "Pein attacks Konoha" arc...When I had the thought initially, it wasn't centered around anyone in particular, but I decided to use it for Hidan since he's the next person from the Akatsuki to need a fic, and I want to use it before I forget about it. So basically, this is what happened the day Hidan joined the Akatsuki. I'm not entirely sure if Orochimaru was still there when Hidan joined, but since it says that Hidan was the second to last to join, I'm going to assume that means it was after Orochi left, and so therefore I won't involve him.**

**Little bit of background info on Hidan (some of which will be mentioned in the fic, but I figured I'd say it here anyway): He was from Yugakure (Hidden Hot Springs Village), but then got annoyed when it turned into more of a tourist site than a shinobi village, and so killed his neighbours and then left. It was after this that he became Jashinist, and then once he gained immortality from the religion, he (somehow) met Kakuzu, who he viewed as a pioneer in immortality, and he joined the Akatsuki because of this. Or something like that. XP All it says is that he "joined Akatsuki after seeing Kakuzu" so I assume that it was because of their meeting. Somehow. Anyway, here goes!**

**Chapter 7**

**Hidan**

Hidan walked into a large cavern, where eight other figures stood, looking rather menacing. He scowled at each of them in turn. "What the hell are you all staring at?" he demanded.

"So you found the place," Kakuzu said. "What a shame. I was hoping you'd get lost."

"Hidan of Yugakure," Pein said, completely ignoring both Hidan and Kakuzu. "You wish to join us, correct?"

Hidan rolled his eyes. "Well, duh. Why else would I be here?"

"What makes you think you qualify to be a member of Akatsuki?" Pein continued.

"Did you not hear of how I killed all my neighbours?" Hidan asked. "Not to mention all the crapload of other people I've killed because of my religion."

"That's no big deal, though," Kisame said. "All of us here have killed lots of people, though I doubt anyone can beat Itachi's record." He grinned at his partner, whose face remained expressionless.

"So, what, is there some kind of entrance test or something?" Hidan asked sarcastically. If someone looked very, _very_ closely at Pein's face just then, they might have seen a very, _very_ slight smirk appear and then disappear just as quickly.

"I suppose you could call it that," he said mysteriously. "Konan will show you where to go, and the others will come along. I won't be taking part in it." 

Konan looked at Pein in surprise. "You won't?" she said. "But this is your favourite part of introducing new members, why would you choose to miss it?"

"I have things to do," he replied. "Mostly, I need to find where I put the ring I was going to give Hidan."

Konan sighed. "Okay, then." Pein poofed away, then Konan turned and looked at Hidan. "Follow me."

"Why in the hell would I listen to some stupid bitch like you?" Hidan snapped. "I'm not going anywhere." In an instant, his entire body was bound by paper, aside from his head.

"Three things you will very quickly learn," Konan said, not moving an inch. "One is that Pein is your leader, and anything he says goes. Two is that whenever Pein is not around, _I_ am in charge. And three...none of us in this organization will tolerate being insulted. Got that?"

Hidan glared at her. "Yeah, yeah, sure," he said. "Just let me out of this."

Konan stared at him a while longer, then released him and turned. "Now follow me, everybody." The entire group obediently followed Konan up a flight of stairs which Hidan hadn't noticed before. The stairs led to a hallway with many closed doors, and Konan led them to the room at the very end of the hall. She opened the door, and Hidan had to rub his eyes a few times to make sure he was seeing it right.

The first thing he saw was pink. Pink, frilly, lacy, _girly_ décor. It was a bedroom that could only be described as that of a very girly teenage girl, with pink and red hearts everywhere. Even the bed was heart-shaped. "Where...in the hell...are we...?" Hidan asked in shock.

Deidara giggled. "You like it?" he asked. "It's my room."

"Why are we here?" Hidan asked, clearly not impressed.

"Your initiation test," Konan replied, walking over to a nightstand which was covered in hundreds of bottles of nailpolish, in every colour imaginable. There was even some neon green there. "Every Akatsuki member has a different colour of nailpolish, and if you're truly serious about joining us, then you've got to pick one too."

Hidan was silent for a long moment. "What's the catch?"

Konan smirked slightly. "Well, for one, you have to pick a colour that none of us already wear. And for two...you've got to let us put it on you. But that's not all. It's not just the nailpolish, this is a full-blown teenage slumber party, complete with gossip about boys and hair braiding and even a bit of dressup and a short tea party, just because. Oh, and of course, there's also the pillow fight."

"That's my favourite part," Deidara proclaimed.

Hidan stared at them all with wide eyes. "You're all insane," he said simply. "Totally and completely insane."

"Do you still want to join?" Konan asked, her smirk widening.

Hidan thought about it for a moment, then sighed. "Alright, what are my nailpolish choices?"

Deidara giggled and jumped up and down, clapping his hands. "Yay! Now, let me help you pick something-"

"NO!" Hidan exclaimed. "If I've gotta do this, then _I'm_ picking the colour!"

"Just remember that it can't be the same as what any of us are wearing," Konan reminded him. "If you want, you can choose a colour for your fingernails and a different one for your toes. That's what Zetsu did; he chose pink for his fingers and blue for his toes."

"We couldn't agree," Zetsu's black half explained.

"He wanted blue and I wanted pink," the white half continued, "so we compromised."

"Probably the only thing we'll ever compromise on," the black half murmured. The white half pretended not to hear that.

"As you can see," Konan went on, as if Zetsu hadn't said anything, "I am wearing orange, Kakuzu is wearing dark green, Itachi has purple, Kisame has dark blue, Deidara has black, and if Sasori weren't hiding in that ugly hunk of wood, you'd see that he has teal."

"Hey, don't diss Hiruko," Sasori said, glaring at Konan. "This is probably one of the best puppets I've got for defense."

"You'll never get a date from anyone if you don't show people your 'real' self every once in a while," Konan pointed out.

"We haven't gotten to that part of the slumber party yet," Sasori said, "so don't even start."

Konan rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Hidan. "If Pein were with us, you'd see that he has red nailpolish. You may choose a different shade of any of the colours we have, or a completely different one. But choose quickly; we won't wait around forever."

"I'll just take dark purple," Hidan muttered. "It looks like it's the closest to black that isn't taken already."

"Alright, sit on the bed," Konan commanded. "Itachi, go get the bowls of water. Sasori, go get the towels. Kisame, nail clippers and file. Deidara, find the best hair accessories you can. Kakuzu...just go stand in the corner or something. Or go see if Pein wants any help searching for the ring. And Zetsu...oh, looks like he disappeared already. Kakuzu, why don't you go look for Zetsu."

Kakuzu glared, but left. Everyone else did as they were told, then came back. Konan took the bowls of water and placed two on the floor for Hidan's feet and two on either side of him for his hands. "Itachi and Kisame, take care of his feet. Sasori, take his left hand. I'll take his right, and Deidara, you're in charge of doing his hair." Once again, the others did as they were told, and Sasori reluctantly got out of his puppet in order to do his job better. Hidan saw that he did, indeed, have teal nailpolish. He jumped when he felt Itachi and Kisame touch his feet.

"Hey!" Hidan exclaimed. "Careful with my feet! They're sensitive!"

"We'll be gentle," Itachi promised, and he and Kisame both took one of Hidan's feet and plunged them into the warm water. Konan and Sasori did the same with his hands, while Deidara sat behind him and started doing his hair. Hidan protested and struggled for the first while, then eventually he shut up and let himself enjoy the pampering. His hands and feet were getting massaged, his finger and toenails were clipped, and the feeling of Deidara's fingers running through his hair was actually quite soothing. _I see why teenage girls like this kind of thing,_ he thought idly.

When it came time to paint, Hidan discovered that Deidara actually had four of every colour, for this exact purpose. Each of the four shinobi who had been working on Hidan's hands and feet had their own bottle of nailpolish to use, that way it was much more efficient. While Itachi, Kisame, Konan, and Sasori painted, the whole group chatted about boys, just as Konan had said they would.

"I met a really cute one the other day," Deidara announced. "while I was on the road to search for the Kyuubi."

"Oh?" Konan said in interest. "Do tell." Itachi looked up, a scowl on his face, though he remained silent.

"Well, he was very pale," Deidara began, "and had such deep black eyes...his hair was soooo black, though the back of it kinda looked like a duck's ass..."

"Stay away from that one," Itachi warned, still scowling.

Deidara looked at him in surprise. "What, you're not worried that I'll dump you for him, are you? Because you know I'd never do that."

"No, it's not that...that's my little brother you just described."

At once, all eyes turned to Itachi in shock. "I thought you killed your whole clan," Sasori said.

"Apparently not," Kisame said.

"Why did you never tell me you had a brother?" Deidara demanded. "I thought we weren't going to keep secrets from each other!"

"It never came up in conversation," Itachi said simply, shrugging. "And it's not my fault that you all assumed I killed everyone, because I certainly never said I did."

There was a long pause as everyone processed those words. "Hey...he's right," Sasori noted.

"In any case," Konan said, turning her attention back to Hidan's nails, "it doesn't matter right now. We should probably hurry; Pein should be back soon with the ring, and he'll expect for us to have finished."

"But we haven't even gotten to have the pillow fight!" Deidara protested. "I was looking forward to it..."

"I'm sorry," Konan said. "Maybe another time."

The others all groaned, and then the door opened. Pein was standing there, something in his hand. "Are you done yet?" he asked.

Konan checked each of Hidan's hands and feet, carefully touching the nails to see if they were dry. "Yes, we're done," she announced. Pein walked over.

"Good," he said. "Hidan, since you've joined us so late, I'm afraid you don't have a choice what finger this ring will go on, as there's only one position remaining. Give me your left hand."

Hidan held up his left hand, which was much softer and smoother than it had been in years. Pein took it and slid a ring onto Hidan's index finger, then released his hand. "There. You are now officially a member of Akatsuki."

Hidan looked at his new ring. It was orange, and bore the kanji for "san" - or "three". He looked up. "I'm officially a member now?" he repeated.

"That's what I just said," Pein nodded. Hidan grinned.

"Awesome. So when do I get to start killing people?"

"Tomorrow," Pein replied. "For now, I will show you to your room and then you will rest. Konan will wake you when it's time to leave."

"Wait!" Hidan exclaimed. "You guys all have partners, right? Who do I get to work with?"

"Well, currently, the only one without a partner is Kakuzu, so you'll just have to deal with him. Be warned, though; he has a tendency to kill his partners."

Hidan laughed. "I'd love to see him try that on me," he said. "I am immortal!"

Pein and Konan shared a glance, and both knew they were thinking the same thing; _Maybe he fits in here better than we originally thought._

**End**

**Yeah, so it was an okay length, I suppose. Not as short as Shino's, yet not quite as long as Sasuke's will be...it's still nowhere near done, and it's on page 8. XP Now, as promised, here is what would have been Sakura's chapter:**

It was Sakura's birthday, so she decided to go attempt to make out with Sasuke. Sasuke blew her up with a huge bazooka thingy before she even got the chance. Naruto rejoiced, and then he and Sasuke had fun. The end.

**See? That's why I didn't devote an entire chapter to her. Lol. Please review, even though this is a day late! Next chapter is May 1st!**


	9. Kankurou?

**Hi, folks! Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you yet. XP Yes, I'm well aware that I've missed both Chouji's birthday and Deidara's...not on purpose, I promise you. I've been quite busy lately (seeing as school is finishing up for the year very soon) and so I haven't had a chance to write much. And my policy for this fanfic is "If it's not up on the person's birthday, it doesn't get posted." I know, I know, it's my own fault in that way, but...that's pretty much the entire point of this! And I had a great idea planned for Deidara, too...:'( Oh well. At least I'm posting now, right?**

**So anyway, today is Kankurou's birthday! Yay Kankurou! Unfortunately, my idea well is rather dry at the moment...I'm so very sorry. This is what I get for procrastinating, I suppose. Maybe if I'd given myself more time, instead of hurrying to cram all the creativity in on the night before the day...ugh. Well, I'll use this time to properly plan out the next chapter, which will be on May 26th. I promise I'll actually write something for it, too, not a stupid cop-out like this was. Again, I'm really sorry, everyone. If you have any ideas for characters whose birthdays have not already passed, please don't hesitate to let me know. I have plans for most of them already, but I'm always open to new suggestions, especially suggestions for the different Akatsuki members. I could use some help with Kushina's chapter as well...I want that to be as epic as possible with what little we know of her.**


	10. OMFG A CHAPTER! It's Iruka!

**Okay! I did it! This isn't a cop-out! Yay! So, Happy Birthday to Umino Iruka today! Tee hee...dolphins...**

**WARNING: This is a yaoi chapter! Don't like it? Don't read it. Simple as that. XD No, there will be no graphic scenes, just implications of stuff happening, and...well, you'll see.**

**WARNING: This is also going to be mainly fluff. Just so ya know.**

**Summary: AU, set in present day, modern city type place. It's Iruka's birthday, and he's feeling rather lonely. What happens when he gets a surprise visitor? Pairing: KakaIru, possibly brief mentions of others.**

**Chapter 9**

**Iruka**

Iruka sighed. He was sitting on his couch, utterly bored and lonely. This in and of itself wasn't all that different or noteworthy, as he spent much of his time alone these days, but today it was upsetting him more than other days, as today was his birthday. His son was busy with some friends, and even if he weren't, he'd hit the age where he wouldn't want to spend time with Iruka anyway. Well, not that Naruto was Iruka's real son, but Iruka had been taking care of Naruto since the blonde boy had been born, and so they were as close as family by now.

As Iruka went to his stack of movies, trying to decide which one he should watch for the ten millionth time, the doorbell rang. Surprised, he went over and opened it, a huge smile on his face as he saw who was there. "Kakashi!" he exclaimed, hugging his boyfriend tightly. "I thought you weren't coming back from your trip for another few days!"

Kakashi chuckled as he held Iruka close. "Well, I made sure to come home early. After all, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I left you alone on your birthday?" Iruka pulled away from the hug, still smiling, then pulled Kakashi inside and shut the door behind them.

"I can't believe you came back early just for me," he said, looking up at the older man. Kakashi leaned down and kissed him lightly, a kiss which Iruka returned right away. Kakashi chuckled yet again.

"Like I said, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I left you alone on your birthday? Now, let's have some fun."

"What kind of fun?" Iruka asked, his eyes drawn just down the hallway where his bedroom was situated.

"Not that kind, not just yet," Kakashi replied with a smirk. "It's still early in the evening, there will be plenty of time for that kind of fun later."

"Alright," Iruka said as he looked back at Kakashi, "then what kind of fun were you thinking of?"

Kakashi's smirk turned into a grin. "Have you ever been to a nightclub?" he asked. Iruka blinked.

"No. Do I look like the type who would go somewhere like that?" Kakashi's grin widened.

"You could look the part," he said, looking Iruka up and down. "All it would take is some new clothes and a bit of a hairstyle change."

Iruka's hand went immediately up to his hair, which was in his usual ponytail. "But I like my hair this way," he said defensively.

"And you know I like it too," Kakashi reassured him, "but I can make you look a million times better if you give me the chance."

Iruka bit his lip and looked away. "I don't know..." he began.

"C'mon, Iruka, live a little," Kakashi urged. "It's just one night, what's the worst that could happen? So what if some people aside from me end up considering you sexy? That wouldn't be such a horrible thing." He grinned, and Iruka sighed.

"Alright, fine," he conceded. "I'm assuming you want to take me out shopping now?"

Kakashi grinned. "Of course. Let's go." With that, Kakashi dragged Iruka out clothes shopping.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Hours later, Iruka and Kakashi were back at Iruka's house. Kakashi was waiting while Iruka changed into his new outfit.

"Hurry up in there, slowpoke," the silver-haired man called. "We're going to be late if you take much longer!"

"I'm not coming out," Iruka said from the other side of the door. "I look ridiculous."

"There's no way you could look ridiculous," Kakashi disagreed. "I picked those clothes for you."

"No, trust me, I look horrible."

"If you don't open the door by the time I count to five, I'm coming in, no matter how much clothing you've got on," Kakashi warned. "One...two..."

"Okay, okay," Iruka grumbled. "Just give me a moment to try and get these stupid pants back on."

"...four...five!" Kakashi went to open the door just as Iruka did, and the two ended up smacking right into each other. They blinked a few times, then laughed. Kakashi took a step back to admire Iruka. "Not bad, not bad," he said approvingly. "I like this look on you."

Iruka rolled his eyes. "Well, of course you do, you're the one who picked it out for me." He was wearing skinny jeans and a black T-shirt, and his hair was down and in some spiky hairdo. Kakashi, on the other hand, wore tight, black, leather pants and a white tank top which showed off his nice muscles. His hair was spiky as it normally was.

"We look hot," Kakashi said simply. "Now, let's go to the club."

They got in Kakashi's car and drove downtown to a nightclub with a huge line of people waiting to get in. Kakashi was so well known, however, that he simply walked past the bouncer with Iruka's hand in his, and nobody questioned them. Most of the night was spent with Kakashi showing off on the dance floor and Iruka standing off to the side, watching, very impressed. Finally, Kakashi seemed to have had enough, and the two of them left, going back to Iruka's place.

"Well, that was fun," Kakashi said, flopping on Iruka's bed with a grin.

"I don't know if 'fun' would be the word to describe it," Iruka disagreed, "though I suppose it was better than me sitting around and moping all day. So thanks."

Kakashi looked over. "Come here," he instructed, and Iruka did as he was told, going over to join his boyfriend on the bed. "Time for your birthday present." Kakashi held Iruka close and kissed him deeply. Iruka smiled into the kiss.

_Yep,_ he thought, _definitely better than sitting around and moping all day._

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Yeah, it was painfully short...I'm so very sorry about that. But I was an idiot and left it to the last minute, so I had to kinda rush it a little. I would've liked to have expanded on the nightclub bit some more...but again, I was an idiot. XD Oh well! It's a chapter, right? Next chapter will (hopefully -crosses fingers-) be a lot better. June 9th! Only 14 days to wait! Oh god...I guess that means I only have two weeks to do something epic. Damn. Okay, wish me luck! XP And review, please! I'm always open to ideas!**


	11. Itachi!

**Gah! I'm so sorry! This was supposed to be for yesterday, but I was soooo busy, I didn't have time to post it! I'm so very sorry, Itachi-san, please don't be upset with me! I'll always love you! XD**

**Anyway folks, here we are. Today is the birthday of the great Uchiha Itachi! -crowd of random people starts cheering- And, as I said at the beginning of Konan's chapter, this will be the second of the two Akatsuki birthday fics which doesn't involve the other members. Though I doubt Orochimaru's fic will involve other members, but he doesn't count. XD He ditched the Akatsuki, so therefore the only way he can be considered a member is if we delve into the past. Incidentally, delving into the past is exactly what we'll be doing today.**

**Yes, that's right; this is a (sort of) flashback chapter. It takes place before Itachi had to kill off his clan. Little Sasuke decides to throw his brother a birthday party...I'm sure you can imagine the horrors waiting to unfold. XD And of course by "horrors" I'm referring to cute, fluffy scenes.  
**

**Chapter 10**

**Itachi**

"Surprise!" Itachi blinked, rather shocked to see what looked like all the young children of Konoha – at least, all the ones who lived near the Uchiha complex – in his house, with Sasuke standing at the front, grinning from ear to ear.

"Happy Birthday!" the young Uchiha declared happily, hugging his older brother.

"Sasuke," Itachi began, and Sasuke looked up, still smiling. "Did you plan all this by yourself?"

"Yep!" Sasuke said with pride. "I wanted your birthday to be special, so I invited everybody. Mom is in charge of food, but everything else is me!"

Itachi smiled. "Thank you." Sasuke pulled away, then grabbed Itachi's hand and pulled him through the crowd of little kids and towards the living room, where a massive pile of presents tried to fit on the table, but ended up spilling over as well.

"Open them!" Sasuke instructed.

"Yeah, open them!" all the other kids chorused, giggling. Itachi smiled and sat on the couch, the one area not covered in presents, and began opening each of them, thanking whichever child gave the gift. Most of them were things like stuffed animals and some toys, stuff that kids their age would enjoy but was mostly useless to someone Itachi's age. However, being the kind of person he was, he acted as though each of the gifts were exactly what he wanted.

"Cake time!" Sasuke announced once all the presents had been opened, and at those words, their mother came in with a large, oddly shaped cake.

"The kids made it," Mikoto said in response to Itachi's questioning look, smiling at both her sons. "I supervised, of course, and did the actual baking, but they did everything else."

"You guys made a cake for me?" Itachi asked, looking at the kids in surprise. They nodded, proud of themselves.

"Only some of us," Sasuke clarified. "Not everybody could fit in the kitchen, so half of us did the cake and the other half did the decorations."

"Well, thank you," Itachi said before blowing out the candles on the cake and cutting it up. He took a look at the crowd of excited kids and tried to count them before stopping. "I don't know if there's enough cake for everyone." 

"That's why I made a second one," Mikoto said, saving the day just as any good mother would. She walked back into the living room with a second, much larger, cake, then set it on the table beside the one Itachi was cutting up. The kids cheered, and Itachi grinned, then resumed putting slices on plates. There turned out to be just enough cake for all the guests, though not a piece for Itachi. As he was handing the last piece to Sasuke, the youngest Uchiha frowned.

"But this has to be yours," he said, trying to give it back to his older brother. Itachi shook his head.

"No, no," he protested gently, "you helped make the cake, you should get a piece."

"It's your cake, though, it should be your piece!" Sasuke insisted and shoved the plate back into Itachi's hands. Itachi got an idea, then beckoned Sasuke closer. Sasuke got as close as he could, and Itachi lifted the plate of cake up to him, smooshing the cake into his face.

"There, now you have to eat it," Itachi said with a grin. Sasuke blinked a few times, then wiped the cake off, pouting cutely up at his brother. All the other kids were silent, staring at the two, most of them not even halfway through their piece of cake.

"Food fight!" somebody yelled, and suddenly there was cake flying everywhere, being flung by shrieking and giggling children. Itachi helped Sasuke wipe all the cake off his face, still grinning as he did so.

"There, all clean," he said. "Now enjoy the rest of this cake."

Sasuke gave Itachi a small smile and grabbed a forkful of cake. Instead of eating it, however, he shoved the fork into Itachi's mouth, forcing the older Uchiha to eat it. Itachi blinked in surprise, then chuckled and ate the cake.

"It's good, you should have the rest," he said. Sasuke shook his head.

"If you like it, then you eat it," he insisted. Itachi sighed dramatically.

"Fine," he agreed, taking a forkful and shoving it into Sasuke's mouth with a grin. "There, now you have to have some too."

Sasuke giggled, and from then on, it became a battle to see which of them could make the other one eat more cake. Itachi had the obvious advantage, but he let Sasuke win instead, just so he could see his beloved little brother smiling and happy.

Once everybody was finished their cake – or rather, finished flinging their cake around at the others – Sasuke declared that it was time to play games. So, while Mikoto cleaned up the mess in the living room, the kids dragged Itachi outside and spent hours playing games that they came up with on the spot, all of which involved Itachi being some sort of hero and having to save one of them, usually Sasuke. It was during this long time of playing games that the number of kids slowly started to dwindle down, since many of them got tired and just went home, until finally it was just Itachi and Sasuke. The two brothers lay outside on the grass, staring up at the slowly darkening sky. Sasuke rolled himself close to Itachi.

"Did you have fun?" he asked, looking up at his big brother in childish innocence. Itachi smiled down at him.

"Of course," he replied. "You put a lot of effort into making this day special, and I really appreciate it."

"Boys, it's dinner time!" Mikoto called from within the house. Itachi got up, then picked up Sasuke and carried him inside. Sasuke giggled all the way into the kitchen, where Itachi deposited him on the floor. They each sat in their designated seats, then ate dinner with their parents. After dinner, Sasuke begged Itachi to spend more time with him. Itachi smiled softly.

"I've already spent the entire day with you, Sasuke," he said. "I need some time to myself." Sasuke pouted.

"But most of today there were other kids around too," he complained. "I want you to spend time with just me!" Itachi was saved from having to answer by a knock at the front door. He went to answer, and was surprised to see a bunch of very pretty girls from the area. They giggled as he opened the door.

"Hi, Itachi," one of them said, blinking up at him through long lashes. "We heard it was your birthday, and that you had to spend it with a bunch of little kids."

"So we wanted to know if you'd like to come with us and celebrate for real," another said with a flirtatious smile. "You know, go for a few drinks, hit the town, just have fun...so whaddya say?"

Itachi heard the patter of little footsteps and turned to see Sasuke standing there, a sad look on his face. "Don't go, big brother," he pleaded. "You said you'd spend time with me..."

Itachi looked back at the girls. "Sorry, but he's right," he said. "I did promise, and you know how younger siblings are. I'll never hear the end of it if I break my promise." He smiled apologetically and closed the door, leaving the girls standing out there in surprise.

Sasuke smiled, and the two brothers spent the rest of the day together until it was time for Sasuke to go to bed. As Itachi was tucking him in, Sasuke looked up. "Itachi?" he said sleepily.

"What is it, Sasuke?" Itachi asked, keeping his voice soft.

"Did you really want to go with those girls earlier?"

Itachi chuckled lightly. "No. Believe it or not, I actually wanted to stay here with you."

A wide smile crossed Sasuke's face. "Really? You mean it?"

"Of course," Itachi said. "Now, go to sleep." He headed to the door of the room.

"Itachi?" Sasuke said again before his brother could leave.

"Yes, Sasuke?" Itachi replied, turning.

"I love you," Sasuke said, smiling. Itachi smiled as well.

"I love you too." With that, he left.

The next day, Itachi was given his assignment to slaughter his clan.

**End**

**There! It's done now! Tee hee...I always loved how much Itachi loved his little Sasuke. XP I will forever and always think of Itachi as the loving older brother that he was...sigh. Alrighty, well, please review! Next chapter will be an AU one, just so you're warned.**


	12. Kiba

**Hey everyone, I'm back finally! XD Sorry 'bout the long wait...I had to skip over both Karin and Neji because I just didn't have time. But in any case, Happy Birthday to Inuzuka Kiba today! Hooray! Surprisingly, that's about all I have to say here.  
**

**Summary: Takes place during the time where Naruto is off training with Jiraiya. With Naruto out of the picture for an indefinite amount of time, Kiba figures he might actually have a chance with Hinata. And so he tries...and tries...and tries...I'm not entirely sure if Hinata would add any honorifics to Akamaru's name, but I'm gonna go ahead and say she does, just for the hell of it. XP**

**Chapter 11**

**Kiba**

Kiba was walking around Konoha, Akamaru at his side. He sighed. "What should we do today, Akamaru? Naruto's gone, Kurenai-sensei is on some mission so our team can't go do anything, and pretty much everyone else is training on their own."

Akamaru barked up at his master, and Kiba frowned. "Well, yeah, I suppose we could train too...but it's no fun without someone to fight against." Akamaru barked again. "True," Kiba agreed, "we can use those practice dummies, but they don't fight back! Our offense is fine, it's our defense we need to work on." They turned a corner and came face to face with Hinata, who offered a small smile.

"Oh, Kiba-kun, Akamaru-kun," she said. "I thought I heard you two."

Kiba grinned. "Hey, Hinata," he said. "I thought you were training with Neji."

"I was," she replied, twirling a piece of her hair in her fingers and looking down, "but he got frustrated with me and so told me to go away..."

Kiba's grin turned into a frown. "That wasn't nice of him. Want us to go teach him some manners for you?" He punched his other hand, in case his meaning wasn't clear, and Akamaru growled to accentuate his master's words. Hinata's eyes widened and she shook her head quickly.

"No, no, you don't have to do that," she insisted. "It was my fault, I was being a burden to him."

"Are you sure?" Kiba offered again. "We wouldn't mind at all. In fact, we've been wanting to nail that bastard for a while now, haven't we, Akamaru?" Akamaru barked in agreement, nodding.

"Please don't," Hinata said timidly. "It's not worth it."

Kiba sighed. "Okay, if you insist." Hinata nodded, seemingly satisfied that Kiba wouldn't do anything. "So since you're not training," Kiba continued, "d'you want to hang out for a bit?"

Hinata smiled and nodded again. "Sure," she replied, "I'd love to." She and Kiba walked side by side, with Akamaru on Kiba's other side. They talked about everything and anything that came to their minds, just walking casually through the village. Around lunch time, Hinata's stomach growled. She blushed, and Kiba smiled at her.

"Hungry?" he asked, and she nodded, her blush deepening. "Well, where do you want to go?"

"I don't know," she said. "Do you have a favourite place?"

"Not really," Kiba replied honestly. "I like the barbeque place, but I'll go anywhere you want."

"Barbeque sounds nice," Hinata said, and Kiba raised an eyebrow.

"Really? You don't strike me as a barbeque kind of girl. Are you sure you wouldn't rather somewhere else?"

"It's fine," Hinata said with a nod and a smile.

"Alright, if you're sure." They walked to the barbeque place and sat down, continuing their conversation. They ate until they were both full, and then Kiba pulled his wallet out. "I'll pay for yours too," he said. Hinata looked at him in surprise.

"Oh, no, you really don't have to," she insisted. "I can pay for myself." She took out her own wallet and started to pull money out, before Kiba gently covered both her hands with one of his own.

"Hey, don't worry about it," he said softly. "I've got it."

Hinata looked at him for a long moment, then nodded. "Okay," she said. Kiba smiled triumphantly and paid for both of them before taking her out of the restaurant and continuing their walk. After a few hours, they ended up just outside Hinata's house, and stopped.

"I should probably go back inside," she said.

"Oh, okay then," Kiba said, not hiding his disappointment. He watched her go, and Akamaru whined. "Hey!" he called, and Hinata turned. "We should...we should do this again sometime."

Hinata smiled and nodded. "Yeah, definitely."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Over the next few years, Kiba and Hinata had many more of these daytime meetings, and grew closer as a result, closer than they'd begun to grow since being placed on Team 8 together. Kiba was starting to work up the courage to finally ask her out properly.

"Okay, Akamaru, I can do this," he said, and his now giant white dog barked in agreement. "I don't know...should I go over it once more?" Akamaru whined, shaking his head. "Yeah, you're right, I've already practiced hundreds of times. All that's left is to just go over to her, and ask her..." He took a deep breath and walked off in search of Hinata. He figured she'd be somewhere nearby, as Kurenai-sensei wanted them all to meet up for a mission they were supposed to go on together. However, he realized as he neared the meeting place that his plan was in vain.

Naruto was back.

**End**

**Yes, I know, that was terribly short. I'm sorry! Please don't shoot me! I forgot until a couple hours ago that today is Kiba's birthday and that I had yet to write something for him. XD Oh well, what can I say? I wrote something! I wish it were longer, but I've got no more time. Sorry all! Please review, next chapter should be in three days if I remember.**


	13. Sasuke!

**Here we are, probably the one I've been most looking forward to writing; the fanfic for my most favourite character, and the one that I would, without a doubt, take as mine if I somehow magically went into the Naruto universe...Uchiha Sasuke! If I could go into the Naruto universe, I would insert myself in Konoha before the Chuunin Exams and kick Sakura's ass right out of Team 7, then I'd get to have both Naruto and Sasuke mostly to myself...I say mostly because I'd of course let them have fun with each other too, seeing as SasuNaru _is_ my most favourite of all the pairings I can think of. Of course, Naruto is also the character that I'm most like most of the time...I guess that means that I'm destined to have Sasuke for my own! Lol. But anyway, enough chatter.**

**This chapter was very heavily inspired by Deidara is my conscience who helped me come up with the vast majority of the ideas in here. I feel I need to put some warnings though...this chapter will involve a large amount of humour that may or may not seem funny to everybody. There will be many many many pairings in this, most for the sake of humour and others because I like them. Don't worry, there won't be any Uchihacest of any kind. I'm not quite that insane. The main focus of the fic, however, will be SasuNaru.**

**Today's chapter takes place sometime during Shippuden, but Sasuke never left Konoha. None of it has anything to do with any real plot, I just have to place it during Shippuden for morality reasons; there's stuff in here that I can't make little 12 & 13-year-olds do, despite the fact that they really don't seem as young as they are during the first series. Besides, I like Sai. XP I don't know why Sai is there if Sasuke never left...oh well. He just is, I guess. Lol. Okay, here goes! Please go forward with an open mind that is (hopefully) geared towards the humour side of things. XP**

**Chapter 12**

**Sasuke**

It was July 23rd; Uchiha Sasuke's birthday. Just where was the youngest Uchiha? He was holed up in his room at his house, hoping desperately that nobody would come bug him. Naruto and Sakura had been badgering him since the beginning of January, trying to get him to reveal his birthdate, which Sasuke refused to tell them, until finally Kakashi got fed up and just told the other two. This was the only time Sasuke had felt the adverse effects of Kakashi knowing nearly everything about his three students.

So now here he was, more or less hiding out, for the simple reason that he really didn't want to celebrate his birthday; especially not with either Naruto or Sakura. Not that he had much of a problem with Naruto any more; the two of them had actually gotten closer as friends once Sasuke had finally put revenge out of his mind again. No, even though the boys were friends, Sasuke was wary of any party the blonde might decide to throw, especially after hearing what had happened at the last one, which Sasuke had "conveniently" been away for. He'd heard from Sai, however, that it was total chaos. Naruto had somehow managed to get his hands on enough alcohol for everyone at the party, which meant nearly every one of their friends, which had resulted in the party breaking up once a very drunk Kiba and Shino had started making out heatedly against a wall. Sasuke wanted to avoid anything like this at all costs, which was why he was hiding from Naruto and Sakura. Plus, he had never gotten drunk before, and wasn't all too sure what would happen if he did so, nor did he have any intention of finding out.

Of course, the universe wasn't going to make his life easy. It was almost as if a crazed fangirl who wanted to show her love of Sasuke by torturing him endlessly was the one in control of his life, because by around 6 pm, just when Sasuke had started to think that he might be safe, it finally occurred to Naruto to check for Sasuke at Sasuke's house.

"Sasukeeeeeeee!" Naruto called out as he knocked on the front door. "Are you in there?"

"No, go away," Sasuke replied, hoping the blonde would be stupid enough to buy it.

"Oh..." Naruto said. "Okay, well let me know when you're back, alright?"

"Sure, whatever." Sasuke listened in disbelief to Naruto's footsteps walking away, totally surprised it had actually worked. Just as he was starting to relax, however, Naruto's head popped in the window.

"Hah!" he cried out. "I knew you were actually here! I win!"

Sasuke groaned. "Go away, Naruto, I don't want to see you right now."

Naruto pouted cutely. "But Sasuke, I thought I was your friend," he whined.

"You are," the Uchiha said, completely unfazed by Naruto's attempt at persuasion. "I just don't want to deal with people right now."

Naruto decided to try a different tactic. "But it's your birthday! You've gotta come celebrate!"

"Not happening," Sasuke replied. "I heard what happened at the last party you threw."

"Everyone's already there, waiting for you though."

Sasuke fidgeted. He didn't like the thought of people waiting around indefinitely for him to show up to a place he didn't want to go to in the first place. "How many people is 'everyone'?" he asked reluctantly, and Naruto grinned.

"All our friends...and a giant cake."

Sasuke sighed. "Well, I suppose I should go, then, if people are waiting."

"And the cake, don't forget the cake. It's very important."

"Right, of course."

Naruto didn't even give Sasuke a chance to say or do anything else; he just jumped in through the window and grabbed Sasuke's wrist, then pulled him out the door. Sasuke was dragged all over the village, because Naruto seemed to think it necessary to tell each and every villager that it was Sasuke's birthday today, and that they were headed to a party. A few people asked to join in, and Naruto let them, completely ignoring Sasuke's protests.

After a long while, the two shinobi – and the rather large crowd of people who'd decided to join in – made it to a building Sasuke was fairly certain hadn't existed before, and Naruto led the way inside. Sure enough, all of Sasuke and Naruto's friends were inside, not to mention the giant pink cake which Naruto had said was important.

"Happy Birthday, Sasuke-kuuuuuuuun!" dozens of voices called out at the same time, though not all of them added the "-kun" at the end of course. Sasuke blinked rapidly a few times, taking it all in.

"Wow," was all he could say. "Naruto, I'm not too sure about this..." he started, but Naruto cut him off.

"Nuh uh, you're not getting out of it now." Naruto nodded to Sakura, who locked the door and then held up the key for everyone to see, before she tucked it securely away down her shirt. It would be safe from everyone there, especially from Sasuke. Though maybe he could bribe Ino to get it for him...nope. One look at the blonde girl told him that she was most definitely in league with Sakura and Naruto, and therefore wouldn't be any help to Sasuke, no matter what he tried. He sighed.

"Alright, well I'm here, so let's just get this over with," he said, and everybody cheered.

"Time for presents!" Naruto announced, and Sasuke groaned.

"You're kidding me..." he muttered. Immediately, every single person was crowded around Sasuke, trying to force their gifts upon him. He opened them all, one by one, and found just what he was expecting to find; a whole lot of weapons. He sighed. "Is this really the best you could all do?" he asked, and everyone looked at their feet sheepishly.

"We're sorry, Sasuke-kun," they said in unison, sounding very pathetic. Sasuke sighed again.

"It's okay," he said reluctantly. "I mean, I know I don't exactly make it easy for people to know what I like and what I don't like, so..." Everybody cheered at receiving Sasuke's "forgiveness".

"So when's the cake?" Sasuke asked, wanting to know what was so important about it that Naruto kept saying it was important, which it was.

"Not for a while," Naruto replied. "We're gonna play some games and stuff first!"

"YAY GAMES!" everyone cheered, and Sasuke sighed yet again. He seemed to be doing that a lot tonight.

"What kind of games?" he asked warily.

"Games that require us to all be drinking," Naruto replied with a huge grin, then he made a hand sign and a very large table appeared against one wall of the building, many bottles of alcohol covering it. Only problem was, Naruto made it appear on the outside of the building. He chuckled. "Oops," he said. "Guess I shouldn't have sampled the drinks already." Everybody but Sasuke laughed at that, and Naruto made the table appear inside this time.

"So wait," Sasuke said, "did you take the table from outside and put it in here, or are there two tables now?"

Naruto stopped to think about it for a second. "I dunno," he said finally. "Maybe we should go check."

"The door's locked, baka," Sasuke reminded him.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I know that," he insisted. "Sakura-chan! Toss me the key!"

Sakura reached down her shirt and rummaged around in there for a while. All but Ino looked away, really not wanting to see more than they had to, and Sakura finally pulled out the key. "Here, Naruto, catch!" She threw it at Naruto. Unfortunately for him, she forgot how incredibly strong she was, and so the key hit him right in the forehead with enough force to knock him backwards a few feet.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, getting up and rubbing his head. The key fell off into his hand, and he grinned. "Thanks, Sakura-chan! Next time, maybe use a little less force though."

"Sorry," Sakura said, and Naruto walked over to the door, unlocking it. He paused for a moment, then turned and looked at the crowd.

"Make sure he doesn't escape," he told them, nodding to Sasuke. The crowd jumped on the Uchiha, piling on him. Poor Sasuke was flattened. _Some birthday __this__ is turning out to be,_ he thought to himself, and waited there, attempting to breathe, as Naruto went outside to see if the table was still there too. The blonde boy came back in, locked the door, and tossed the key back to Sakura, who was the only one not in on the dog pile. Even Akamaru was there, hence why it was called a "dog" pile. Sakura tucked the key safely away in her cleavage once more, and everybody got off of Sasuke, who took a few very deep breaths in relief.

"Okay, all is good," Naruto said once he came back in.

"There wasn't a second table out there?" Sasuke said after he finally got his breath back.

"Oh no, there was," Naruto replied. "But in about two seconds, it'll be in here too." He made another hand sign, and suddenly a second table – full of an equal amount of alcohol as the first one that appeared inside – appeared beside the first table.

"But are you sure that this table is really the one from outside, and not just a new one?" Kiba asked, and Sasuke shushed him.

"Don't make him go back outside to check!" the Uchiha exclaimed. Kiba rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on, we're not that heavy," he said.

"Maybe not on your own," Sasuke admitted, "but together? Yeah, you guys are really heavy."

"Did you just call me heavy?" Chouji asked, a dangerous gleam in his eyes. "That's only one step away from calling me fat..."

"Hey, let's start the games already!" Naruto suggested, successfully avoiding what would likely be a very bad battle which would ruin all his hard work of decorating the place.

"Yeah!" everyone agreed, mostly for the same reason Naruto made the suggestion in the first place.

"I don't think that Kiba or Shino should get to drink this time around, though," Sai said. "I don't particularly want to see that again."

Both Kiba and Shino blushed, though it was impossible to tell with Shino.

"Hey, Kiba!" Naruto called, and his friend looked up. "So, did you actually get to see Shino's eyes that night?"

Suddenly, Sakura was at Naruto's side, looking at Kiba in total interest. "Yeah, did you? And if you did, can you describe them to us?"

Kiba blushed even deeper. "Umm...I dunno. If I did see, then I don't remember it. I was really drunk, after all..."

"No you weren't," Shino said quietly. "You told me yourself that you hadn't even had any-" He was cut off by Kiba's hand over his mouth.

"Shut up," the dog lover hissed. "I told you not to tell anyone that."

Everybody in the room was staring at the pair in total shock and silence.

"...So, um, Naruto," Ino started, "what was that about a game?"

"Oh, right." Naruto grinned. "Well, I figured we could play spin the bottle, or truth or dare, or something like that, only drunk, so it'd be way more fun."

"If we're going to drink, we should eat something first," Shikamaru said, taking it upon himself to be the responsible one there.

"Shikamaru's right," Chouji agreed. "But since there's no other food here...CAKE TIME!" Everyone cheered.

"Did somebody say 'cake time'?" a very creepy voice inquired. All the people gathered in the room shivered collectively, and looked towards the cake, from which the voice had emanated. As they all watched, the cake split in half, and the sight before them was so horrendous and mentally scarring that many of them threw up while others simply fainted. Sasuke's eyes widened, and he hid behind Naruto.

"Oh, come now, Sasuke-kun," the figure in the cake said with a malicious grin, while simultaneously wondering why the author didn't just say his name, seeing as he knew that many of the readers had likely already figured out his identity. Well, maybe the author just wanted to create some suspense! "I just came here to wish you a Happy Birthday...and remind you that my offer will always stand, no matter how long you stay here in this wretched village for."

"How...how did he even get here?" Sakura exclaimed once Sai had managed to wake her up with smelling salts, seeing as she was one of the ones that had fainted. "I thought he wasn't allowed in Konoha anymore!"

"I came in through the front entrance," Orochimaru replied simply, very happy that the author decided to quit with the suspense thing, as it really wasn't working, and was just making things complicated.

"But did you have to come wearing only a speedo?" Sasuke exclaimed, looking ready to throw up. For indeed, Orochimaru was standing there, inside Sasuke's now ruined, giant birthday cake, wearing nothing but a hot pink speedo that, quite frankly, looked way too tight for the snake sannin.

"Well, I haven't been to a birthday party in quite some time," Orochimaru admitted, "so I wasn't sure what to wear. But I thought you might appreciate this outfit, just a little."

"Hell no!" Sasuke tried desperately to look away, but found his eyes oddly drawn to this, as one might find oneself drawn to looking at a trainwreck. He shuddered and mentally cursed the author for putting him through this. The author just laughed in her maniacal way and ignored Sasuke's obvious discomfort. Of course, Naruto couldn't ignore the discomfort, and went up to Sasuke, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. Thankfully, this enabled Sasuke to look away from the very disturbing and, as already stated, mentally scarring image of Orochimaru, and instead focus on the lovely sight of Naruto's face. That beautifully tanned skin, those blue eyes like deep, deep oceans filled with compassion and love, that blonde hair that made Sasuke want to run his hands through it and make it messier than it ordinarily was...Sasuke once again found himself cursing the author.

"Ummm...Sasuke? You okay?" Naruto asked, blinking in total confusion. Sasuke was pleased to note that the blonde was also blushing lightly. "You've been staring at me for, like, five minutes."

"Hmm? Oh! Sorry." Sasuke looked away and cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm fine. Anyway, let's figure out how to get this creeper out of here."

Orochimaru pouted. "But Sasuke-kun," he whined, "I'm here for you! Can't I stay and enjoy your party just a little bit longer?"

Sasuke shuddered. "No," he replied. "I won't let you stay. I want you out of here."

"What if I put more clothes on?" the snake sannin suggested. Sasuke debated this for a while.

"Well...how about you put more clothes on, and you stop trying to come onto me?" he said finally. "Then, maybe, I'll consider letting you stay."

Orochimaru pouted. "Oh, you're no fun," he said in the tone of a young child who was just informed she wasn't allowed to have a second scoop to her ice cream cone. "But fine, if there's any chance you'll let me stay..." He poofed away momentarily, then returned about five seconds later in a very tight, purple, leather suit that somehow showed more than the speedo had. Those who had puked at the previous sight now fainted, and those that had fainted now puked and then fainted. Sasuke screamed...like a little girl. He now cursed the author a thousand times over, but the author was laughing so hard at her own genius that she didn't care.

"_THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT_!" Sasuke yelled. "_SOMETHING THAT __DOESN'T__ SHOW OFF EVERY DISTURBING DETAIL OF YOU!"_

Orochimaru pouted again, then poofed away and returned once more, this time wearing his usual outfit. Sasuke calmed down a little, though not very much. "I suppose that'll do," he said bitterly, and Orochimaru clapped his hands gleefully.

"Yay! I get to stay!" He giggled at the fact that he rhymed.

"I guess that means the cake is ruined," Chouji lamented, and Orochimaru shook his head.

"No no, not at all," he said, sliding a finger through the icing and then licking it off...very suggestively, as he looked straight at Sasuke. "The cake is still quite tasty."

The whole group shuddered at the thought of eating any cake that Orochimaru had been inside, especially as scantily clothed as he'd been previously.

"It's okay," Sasuke said, "I don't really like cake to begin with."

Orochimaru pouted. "You mean, I did all that for nothing?"

"Ummm...let's just get on with the games now, shall we?" Naruto suggested, and Sasuke nodded.

"Sure."

"Okay, everyone!" Naruto exclaimed. "Each of you go get some drinks, then everybody sit in a circle! We're going to play spin the bottle first!"

"I can see this ending badly," Sasuke muttered, but got into a circle with everybody anyway. Naruto placed an empty glass bottle in the center of the circle, then sat down directly across from where Sasuke was sitting.

"Alright, now for the rules," Naruto announced. "They're slightly modified, so listen up! Each person can only kiss or be kissed twice, which basically means that if I spin the bottle to land on Kiba, and then he spins it to land on...hmm...Hinata, then nobody else can get Kiba. If it landed on him again, whoever spun would have to spin again. This way, everybody will get a chance to play." He grinned. "Of course, if we all still feel like playing after everyone has been kissed, then we can start over."

"Who goes first?" Hinata asked, blushing at the thought of being kissed.

"Well, the birthday boy should, of course," Sakura replied, looking straight at Sasuke. "Have fuuuuuun," she winked.

Sasuke shuddered, but reluctantly reached out and spun the bottle. It spun rather nicely, and then all eyes were on it as it started to slow. It looked as though the bottle was going to land on Sakura – Sasuke shuddered again at the thought – but then there was a slight hissing noise and the bottle landed on Orochimaru, who was nowhere near Sakura. Sasuke's eyes widened and he stared at the sannin in absolute horror. Orochimaru grinned and started crawling towards the middle of the circle. Sasuke was frozen in terror.

"Go on, Sasuke, you've gotta play by the rules," Ino said with a giggle, pushing Sasuke a little. He fell, face first, onto the floor, and refused to move. Ino pushed him again, making him get up, and then she made him go forward again. He looked over at Naruto.

"What are the rules for kissing?" he asked through clenched teeth.

Naruto frowned, not looking too thrilled with this outcome. "Well, there really aren't any rules. I originally decided that the kisses could be whatever, but-"

"Excellent," Orochimaru said with a grin, and closed the space between him and Sasuke, taking the Uchiha boy's face in his hands. Sasuke squeezed his eyes and mouth shut as tightly as he could, but somehow Orochimaru's tongue made it past Sasuke's lips. Sasuke leaped backwards.

"No!" he exclaimed. "Just no! I won't let you kiss me, you creeper!"

Orochimaru pouted. "But Sasuke-kun..." he began, then was interrupted.

"NO!" Sasuke yelled. "There, I did what was necessary, and since there's no rules for kissing, then it's no longer my turn, right? Right. Good." He quickly scooted back to his seat and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the bottle in the centre as though this was all its fault.

"I think that the rule for kissing should be that tongue is allowed and required," Sai suggested.

"NO!" several people at once exclaimed, all looking at Orochimaru, knowing that it would be his turn next.

"Tongue is allowed, but only if both participants are willing," Naruto amended. "But the only way to know whether someone is willing or not is to try. If the person pulls away, then it means they weren't willing, and nobody will force them. Got it?"

"That's no fun," Orochimaru whined, but he agreed too. He spun the bottle, and everyone watched in anticipation, hoping against hope that it wouldn't land on them. As the bottle slowed, all eyes were glued to it, and it finally landed on...Shikamaru. Everybody else cheered, because it wasn't them. Shikamaru didn't respond to it, as he was fast asleep. Orochimaru smirked and crawled across the circle to the Nara boy, kissing him rather forcefully, which served to awaken the poor kid. Shikamaru's eyes widened and he scrambled away from the ancient man.

"What the hell?" he exclaimed.

"Well, if you'd been paying any attention," Ino said, "you'd know that we're playing Spin the Bottle, so as disgusting as that was, it was necessary."

Shikamaru frowned at his teammate, and wiped his lips. Orochimaru settled back into his seat with a self satisfied smirk as Shikamaru took his turn spinning the bottle. Everyone watched, wondering why on earth the bottle was taking so long to finish spinning, when it landed on Temari.

"Hey, wait, why is she here?" Sasuke asked. "If this is my birthday party, why was she invited?"

Temari frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. "If you must know, my brothers and I were here in Konoha on business, as your Hokage had something to discuss with Gaara. We were just on our way back to Suna when the little blonde idiot intercepted us and said we absolutely had to come here today. Gaara agreed before either Kankurou or I were able to decline, so here we are." Without further ado, she took the initiative and went over to Shikamaru, straddling him as she kissed him deeply. Shikamaru was surprised for a moment, then held her close and returned the kiss only too happily. They continued kissing for quite a while until Kankurou cleared his throat.

"Um, Temari? Get on with the game now."

Temari pulled away and frowned at her brother before giving Shikamaru another quick peck and sliding off his lap, returning to her seat. Shikamaru stealthily took the hat off Chouji's head (though why Chouji was wearing a hat was beyond anyone) and covered his lap with it, much to the amusement of those whose attention was not on Temari.

The blonde girl spun the bottle, and it landed on Lee, who looked rather excited by the prospect of getting a turn after this. He rushed over to her and gave her a very quick peck on the lips before returning to his seat and hurriedly spinning the bottle, his eyes glued on Sakura in hopes he'd get her. Instead of the pink haired girl, however, the bottle pointed at Neji. The Hyuuga's expression was unreadable as he and Lee closed the gap between one another and kissed, though Hinata could have sworn she saw a look of triumph in her cousin's eyes before he closed them.

After that, Neji spun to land on Tenten, who spun to land on Kankurou, who spun to land on Temari and then had to spin again, landing instead on Shino, who spun to land on Kiba, who spun to land on Hinata, who spun to land on Chouji, who landed on Ino (Ino kept that short on account of her gag reflex making her want to barf into her teammate's mouth), who landed on Sakura (everybody averted their eyes for that one, especially when the blonde pinned the pinkette to the floor and nearly started undressing her), who landed on Gaara (which was a very short kiss), who landed on Naruto (a fairly passion-filled kiss on the part of the redhead...Naruto couldn't stop looking guiltily over at Sasuke the entire time), who landed on Sasuke.

The whole room (except for Orochimaru and Gaara) cheered at this, and Naruto grinned.

"So, wait, what do we do now?" Sasuke asked before Naruto kissed him. "I mean, I was first to spin, so does that mean that you don't kiss me because I've already gone?"

"No," Naruto said, "it means that I kiss you and the game ends, because everyone's been kissed. Well, everyone important, that is." The large amount of Konoha citizens who had joined the party impulsively made various noises of protest, which were quickly snuffed out as soon as the two boys locked lips.

The kiss started out rather hesitant on Sasuke's part, but with silent encouragement from Naruto, the raven haired boy gave in and held the blonde tightly as they kissed with more passion than Ino and Sakura had done, eliciting cheers and shouts of "Get a room!" from the various party goers. After what seemed like at least ten minutes of heated making out, the two boys finally pulled apart, staring into each other's eyes lovingly. Naruto caressed Sasuke's cheek gently, his sapphire eyes making the older boy melt beneath his touch.

"Happy Birthday," the blonde said softly. "I love you, Sasuke...Sasuke...Sasuke...Sasuke..."

Sasuke blinked in confusion, wondering why Naruto was sounding like a broken record, repeating his name over and over again. Naruto began shaking the raven haired boy, and Sasuke's eyes opened.

He was in his room, in bed, with Naruto standing over top him, looking rather irritated. "Finally, you wake up!" the blonde exclaimed. "I've been trying to wake you for about ten minutes now! I was starting to think I'd have to call in Sakura-chan to take a look and make sure you were okay."

"Dobe," Sasuke muttered, sitting up and rubbing his face. "Of course I'm okay. I was just fast asleep, that's all. You know I'm a deep sleeper."

"Well, yeah, and normally I'd just let you sleep rather than even bother trying to wake you, but I figured you might want to shower and change before everyone gets here."

Sasuke stopped and looked at Naruto for a long moment. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Your birthday party, obviously," the blonde replied. "Everyone's going to start showing up soon, and Grandma Tsunade is sending Sakura-chan over with a huge cake, made specially for this occasion."

Sasuke saw the world spin around him before passing out.

**End**

**There we go! I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun, please don't kill me now. I LOVE YOU! Though not nearly as much as Naru-chan could, but it's okay, because I love him too. XD Please review, my lovelies, and don't forget to wish Sasuke-kun a Happy Birthday in your own way, whether that be simply saying it or making out with a wall poster of him...not that I've ever done the latter...even though I do have a rather large poster of him on my wall, right next to one of Naru-chan...-clears throat- In any case, please review!**


	14. Tsunade

**Hi all, I'm back! This chapter was supposed to be for yesterday, August 1st, which is Tsunade's birthday. However, I was busy, so didn't get a chance to even type it...oops. XD But on the plus side, this is one that I've known what I want to do for a while, for longer than I've known what to do for Sasuke's birthday. XD This is based off a short little fan comic I saw on the internet sometimes last year...I have no idea what it was called, who made it, or where it can now be found (maybe Google images or Deviantart?) but if anyone knows please let me know. Here goes!**

**Chapter 13**

**Tsunade**

**Summary: Way back when the three Sannin were still young adults, Orochimaru and Jiraiya decide to do something special for Tsunade's birthday. **

"Hey, Tsunade," Jiraiya said as he walked over to the blonde kunoichi, "you wanna-"

"No," Tsunade replied, "I don't want to go on a date with you."

Jiraiya pouted momentarily, then his face brightened. "Well, that's not what I was going to ask."

"Oh. I figured it was, seeing as that's what you ask all the time," Tsunade pointed out, and Jiraiya shook his head.

"No, what I was going to ask is if you wanna do something fun for your birthday."

Tsunade gave him a skeptical look. "Something fun...with you?"

"With me and Orochimaru," he replied. She thought for a moment, then nodded.

"Alright, sure," she said, "what did you have in mind?"

"Oh, just a small little party at my place, only the three of us." Jiraiya grinned.

Tsunade had learned at an early age to always be wary when Jiraiya grinned the way he was doing now, and so her first impulse was to change her mind and say no. However, she reasoned that since Orochimaru would be there, it couldn't be all that bad, so she sighed.

"What time?" she asked in defeat, and Jiraiya laughed triumphantly.

"Show up at 7," he said, then ran off, presumably to inform Orochimaru of his success. Tsunade shook her head slowly. _What have I gotten myself into?_ she thought.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Tsunade's birthday arrived, and during the day, she got many nice gifts from her family, friends, and many admirers – both male and female. At 7, she showed up at Jiraiya's door, once again asking herself whether this was really wise. Before she had the chance to leave, however, Jiraiya opened the door with a huge grin.

"Tsunade!" he exclaimed. "I didn't think you were actually going to show up!"

Tsunade scoffed and crossed her arms. "I said I would, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but I thought you were going to bail at the last second," he told her, then stood aside to let her in.

"So did I," she muttered truthfully as she passed him. The second she heard the door lock behind them and saw the table full of sake, she knew she was in for one hell of a night.

"Happy birthday, Tsunade," Orochimaru said from within the living room, seated at a table with a few packs of cards in front of him.

_Yep, definitely a bad idea,_ Tsunade thought to herself, making her way over to her teammate. "Thanks," she said. "What're the cards for?"

"Poker, of course," Jiraiya replied, coming in with three cups of sake. He placed them down on the table, and Orochimaru grabbed the one nearest him, taking a sip. Tsunade eyed the cup warily, knowing how bad she was at holding her liquor. "Oh, come on," Jiraiya urged, having already drained his first cup, "go for it! What's a party without drinking?"

Tsunade hesitated. "We all know you like it," Orochimaru pointed out, finishing his own cup and placing it back on the table. Tsunade sighed, then reached for her cup and downed it in one gulp. Jiraiya grinned, then refilled all the cups.

"Let the fun begin!" he announced. The three of them spent quite a bit of time playing normal poker and drinking sake, until Tsunade was swaying in her seat and Jiraiya was even louder than normal. The only sign that Orochimaru was fairly drunk was a pink tinge to his pale cheeks.

"Okay, okay," Jiraiya slurred, "enough with this. We gotta make it more fun now." He giggled like a little school girl at whatever thought was in his head.

"More fun?" Tsunade repeated, trying to raise her eyebrow and failing miserably, sending Jiraiya into a fit of laughter at the expressions she was making. Tsunade tried and failed to hold her own laughter in, and soon the two of them were both laying on the table, making chips slide off with how much it was shaking from their laughter. The laughter ended abruptly, however, when Orochimaru said two words.

"Strip poker."

Tsunade straightened up in her chair, trying to regain whatever composure she could, and stared at her pale friend incredulously. "You're not serious, are you?" she slurred, and Orochimaru nodded.

"Completely," he assured her.

"Yeah, it'll be fun!" Jiraiya said. "Let's do it!"

Now, ordinarily, Tsunade would have recognized that her teammates – or at least, Jiraiya – were only suggesting this because they knew of her horrible luck with gambling, and wanted to take advantage of it to see her naked, and she would have beaten the both of them up and left the house. Being drunk, however, she only vaguely thought about this. Most of her mind was focused on winning some sort of game for once, and so she nodded.

"Kay," she said, "sounds good."

Within only a few rounds, Tsunade was barely wearing anything, Jiraiya had his shirt off, and Orochimaru was fully clothed. Jiraiya was also unsuccessfully attempting to hide the fact that he was thoroughly enjoying the view he had of Tsunade.

"Okay, okay, I'm gonna win this one!" Tsunade announced. Orochimaru smirked.

"We'll just see about that," he said simply, and laid out his cards. "Read 'em and weep," he told his companions, who gaped at the Royal Flush on the table.

"Beats me," Jiraiya said with a shrug, laying out his four aces. Tsunade looked at her own hand and whimpered. She had nothing.

"Go on, show us what you've got," Orochimaru urged.

"In as many ways as we want," Jiraiya added with a grin and a wink. Tsunade punched him in the arm, a hit that was meant to be light but ended up sending him flying to the opposite side of the room, wincing and holding his arm. "That's gonna bruise now!" he exclaimed.

"Good!" Tsunade replied, flushed. She laid out her cards on the table. "I lose," she said miserably, then proceeded to remove the last of her clothing. She took a swig of her sake, then blinked and frowned. "Someone tell the room to stop spinning," she commanded, and that was the last thing she remembered.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The next morning, Tsunade woke with a groan at the sunlight streaming in through the window, and the birds singing their "good morning"s just outside. Slowly, gingerly, she sat up, rubbing her face and holding her head.

"Tell the birds to shut up."

Tsunade jumped at the sound of Jiraiya's muffled voice, and looked beside her. Sure enough, her white haired teammate was laying beside her, completely naked, his face pressed into the pillow. She looked down at herself, also completely naked. Her eyes widened and she blushed. "Oh god, tell me we didn't..."

"Didn't what?" came a familiar voice from her other side. She looked to see Orochimaru laying there, naked just like his teammates. Tsunade's eyes widened more and her blush deepened. She made a quick grab for the blankets and covered herself as best as she could.

"What the hell?" she yelled, making both her teammates wince and groan at the volume of her voice. Truthfully, it hurt her own head too, but she ignored it. "You guys got me drunk just so I'd agree to have a threesome with you?"

"It's not like that, Tsunade," Jiraiya began, but Orochimaru cut him off.

"It was Jiraiya's idea," he said simply. Jiraiya growled.

"Then why didn't you stop him? Or tell me?" Tsunade exclaimed, glaring at Orochimaru, who shrugged.

"I liked the idea," he replied. Tsunade screamed in frustration.

"I'm never agreeing to anything like this again!" she vowed, but the boys still managed to get her that Christmas.

**End**

**There you have it, folks! The comic I saw had the three of them sitting on the floor around a table, with cards in their hands. Tsunade was barely wearing anything, and the boys had all their clothes. I don't remember if there were any speech bubbles, but the caption said something like "From that moment on, Tsunade vowed never again to play strip poker." If anyone has any idea what I'm talking about, then good for you! **

**Anyway, thanks for reading! If all goes well (meaning if I figure out what to write) then I'll see you all in 8 days for the next birthday. Now go review! And as always, if you have any ideas for what I should write for anybody's birthday, PLEASE TELL ME! The only one I've really got planned now is Naruto, so even a little bit of help for any others would be greatly appreciated!  
**


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